The Best Things in Life Are Wednesday One-Liner

Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free?

–E 3rd & 1st Ave

Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service!

–Franklin Ave Subway

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers!

–8th & 6th

Overheard by: Zack

Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha!

–Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway

Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love.

–Kimmel, NYU

Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it.

–125th St & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years!

–Duane Reade

Posted on July 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Blue-collar workers, Duane Reade, Excretions, Fat People, Food, Free stuff!, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Love, More museums, NYU, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, President, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thievery, Thugs, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Take This Package Nowhere in Particular. Immediately!

Bike messenger: Well, the problem with being a bike messenger is that you have to make stops, ’cause if you don’t make stops you don’t make any money.
Newbie: Yeah.
Bike messenger: But if I find a gig where I don’t have to stop and I still made money, man, I’ll have it made.

–5th St & Ave A

Posted on June 27, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Advice, Blue-collar workers, Jobs & Careers, Union Square and East Village

Obsessively Gay (for Tad)

Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.

–4th Ave & 9th St station

Overheard by: Tacologic

Posted on June 26, 2015
About Celebrities, Blue-collar workers, Men, Names, Nostalgia, On the Subway, Questions, Talking/Convos, The Village, Time, TV, Women

Dude, We’re Not Relatives

Large maintenance man #1: Yo, you remember your little girl you left a while back?
Large maintenance man #2: Fuck, man, why you gotta bring that up?
Large maintenance man #1: I think I fucked her last night.
Large maintenance man #2: How the hell would you know that?
Large maintenance man #1: ‘Cause she made that face you make when you lift shit.

–15th St & Union Sq West

Overheard by: margo

Posted on June 21, 2015
Blue-collar workers, Construction Guys, Promiscuity, Sex, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village

What’s That? You Have a Bomb?

Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.

–49th & 9th

Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts

Posted on June 11, 2015
Blue-collar workers, Comebacks, Cops, Friends, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, U.S. Geography

And Then I Was Like, “Now What?”

Construction worker with Long Island accent: Man, I finally found Waldo the other day.
Construction worker #2: Yeah?
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Tall, striped shirt, weird shoes. And I was like, “there's Waldo!”

–2 Train

Overheard by: Waldo's alter-ego

Posted on May 11, 2015
Blue-collar workers, Books & Writing, Clothing, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Shoes

Just One Block From Park Ave…

A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.

Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain’t drivin’ no car!

–44th & Madison

Posted on May 10, 2015
Black People, Blue-collar workers, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Race, Violence, Women

Wednesday One-Liner: What Is It Good For?

Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That's why we go to war, that's why we're in Iraq!

–Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St

Overheard by: Nicky

Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up!

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: megan

Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can't fight at the peace march! You can't fight at the peace march!

–143 & Malcolm X

Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that's why you have to register to vote! Or else they'll draft you and you'll have to go to war!

–33rd & 2nd

Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don't worry about it. They're easy.

–NYU Palladium Dining Hall

Posted on May 4, 2015
Blue-collar workers, Compare/Contrast, Elevators, Fighting and ass kicking, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Iraq, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, Politics, Rack, Security Guards, Shea Stadium, Stupidity, War, Weirdness, Women

He and the Mattress Giant are Getting Married in Central Park

Male worker: He isn’t here today.
Woman worker: But I need him!
Man worker: But Mr. Clean ain’t here today!
Woman worker whining: When?
Man worker: Not today!

–Electra Building

Posted on April 17, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Blue-collar workers, Buildings, Men, Questions, Talking/Convos, Time, Wishes & desires, Women

Blue-collar workers