Construction worker with Long Island accent: Man, I finally found Waldo the other day.
Construction worker #2: Yeah?
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Tall, striped shirt, weird shoes. And I was like, “there's Waldo!”
–2 Train
Overheard by: Waldo's alter-ego
A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.
Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain’t drivin’ no car!
–44th & Madison
Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That's why we go to war, that's why we're in Iraq!
–Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St
Overheard by: Nicky
Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: megan
Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can't fight at the peace march! You can't fight at the peace march!
–143 & Malcolm X
Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that's why you have to register to vote! Or else they'll draft you and you'll have to go to war!
–33rd & 2nd
Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don't worry about it. They're easy.
–NYU Palladium Dining Hall
Male worker: He isn’t here today.
Woman worker: But I need him!
Man worker: But Mr. Clean ain’t here today!
Woman worker whining: When?
Man worker: Not today!
–Electra Building
Sandwich Lady: I worked with him, you know.
Sandwich Guy: Who?
Sandwich Lady: Eric Clapton. He had a rep office on the island. I met lots of celebrities. KC and Jojo, they came too. They was on drugs.
–Cosi, 45th & Madison
Construction worker #1 to hot girl: Damn baby, did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven?
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes)
Construction worker #2: Your name must be Candy 'cause you look so sweet!
Hot girl: (looks back and rolls her eyes again, laughing a little)
Construction worker #3: Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Hot girl (laughs hysterically): That's gotta be the best I've ever heard!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: Right to the point. Nice.
One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups.
–Bleecker street
Overheard by: Disco Lama
Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: blatto
Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with.
–Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Jason
Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place!
–34th St & 5th Ave
Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time.
–Tad’s Montana
Overheard by: Mishen
Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady?
–N train, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world!
–Columbus Circle subway exit
Counter lady #1: Do I have something on my face?
Counter lady #2: Yeah. Evilness.
–Cafe 212, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ariz
MTA worker leading a blind man: You see where those turnstiles are? You’re going to make a left there.
Blind man: OF COURSE I CAN’T SEE WHERE THE TURNSTILES ARE!
–59th St 6 train platform
Overheard by: ahcnaej
