Tourist: Excuse me, but do you know how I can get to Penn station?
Woman in camo: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: Now that’s what I came to New York to find!

–5th & 82nd

(in front of the steps of The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where The Met is?
Pissed off local woman: Walk seven blocks that way, take a left and walk four blocks.
(tourist walks away)
Pissed off local woman to friend: The next time someone asks me that, I’m giving them directions to the Bronx.

–82nd & 5th

Overheard by: olivia

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13th St

20-something male tourist: What's the crowd like here?
20-something male New Yorker: Random cougars.

–Line at Club, Meatpacking District

NYU student: Are they tourists or are they just drunk?

–Bleeker & Thompson

Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.

–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Overheard by: Ghost Rock It

Tourist guy: Why do the buildings in New York have water tanks on the
Cop guy: I don’t know…maybe they knock it over if the building
goes up in flames.

–Bowery & Delancey

Tourist #1: I can't wait to leave New York.
Tourist #2: It's not for claustrophobes.

–Times Square

Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?

–5th & 19th

Overheard by: nate

Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they're strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there's gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.

–42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Matt