Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Girl: Yesterday I weeded my terrace.
Boy: What?
Girl: I weeded my terrace.
Boy: Oh, I thought you said, “I needed my terrorist.”
–Washington Square Park
Suit: Attention tourists. It is now just after 5PM, and unlike you, some of us had to work today and would like to fucking get home. Please keep moving and do not just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk. This has been a public service announcement.
–43rd & 7th
Conductor: Next time, you lose your hands!
–N train
Overheard by: Gregorio
The train stops in the tunnel, and the conductor announces: Ladies and gentlemen! We are momentarily held between the stations. We will be moving shortly. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery.
–A train
Driver: Welcome aboard the M86 crosstown bus. I apologize for the delay today; we will be moving momentarily. If you are carrying a grudge from school, or work, or home, please do not take it out on me. I promise you, we will be moving momentarily.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Diane
Conductor: Get all your possessions, including your body, inside the doors, if you want the train to move. It’s that simple.
–S train
Conductor: That was a very dangerous thing that you just did with the cane.
–F train
Tourist wife: What’s that area? I haven’t seen any space yet!
Tourist husband: Maybe it’s a park.
Construction worker: It’s the World fucking Trade Center! Give it a rest!
–Church Street
Overheard by: Emily Davidson
Midwestern mom: Oh my word, that mannequin has nipples!
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Girl: Whoa, that building is tall!
–Empire State Building
Southern lady on cell: New York City, New York…Yes, I’d like the listing for Starbucks…You mean there’s more than one?
–Times Square
Woman on cell: They have strange stores here. She made me come to this place called Archaeology.
–Anthropologie, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: rehey11
Tourist chick: OK, this is 14th Avenue, we are only three stops away, we should prepare to get out. OK, everybody stand up and get to the doors right now!
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
Tourist dad: Well, I guess this is Chinatown.
Tourist mom: I thought it would be bigger.
Tourist dad: Me too.
–32nd & 5th
Overheard by: Justin
Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Charles Star
Tourist: Excuse me, but do you know how I can get to Penn station?
Woman in camo: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: Now that’s what I came to New York to find!
–5th & 82nd
(in front of the steps of The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where The Met is?
Pissed off local woman: Walk seven blocks that way, take a left and walk four blocks.
(tourist walks away)
Pissed off local woman to friend: The next time someone asks me that, I’m giving them directions to the Bronx.
–82nd & 5th
Overheard by: olivia
Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!
–176th & Broadway
Overheard by: emily d.
Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!
–Midtown Bar
Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?
–Broadway & 13th St
