Southern woman: Excuse me, sir? We aren’t from around here but could you tell me where Times Square is?
NY Man: Yeah, it’s a bit uptown from here, you’re lookin’ for 125th street. It’ll say Harlem but don’t let it throw you off.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Carl Krickmire
Tourist guy: Excuse me, where is the subway?
NY guy: Sorry, I don’t speak English.
–Rockefeller Center
A man is stumbling down the street. He trips, falls hard and hits his head on the ground.
Guy: Sir, excuse me, are you okay? You just fell really hard.
Man: …Fuck you.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: The L0rdz
Guy: Where the fuck is this bitch?…Oh, sorry ’bout the language ladies. I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about my girlfriend.
–54th & 5th
Overheard by: E. Hart
Drunk girl: Can you tell me where 3rd and 12th is?
Guy: You’re standing on it.
Drunk girl: Do you know where Bar None is?
Guy: Right under that huge Bar None sign.
–3rd Avenue between 12th & 13th
Overheard by: kristcollekt
White guy: God! This is taking forever!
Black guy: Hey man, you don’t like it then go back to Omaha or Ohio or whatever square state you’re from.
White guy: But I’m from Brooklyn.
Black guy: Then act like it!
–Whitehall SI Ferry terminal
Bike Messenger guy: You see that? I almost died.
Bystander guy: Yeah, man. Those cabs. They fucked up, man. They think they own this city.
Bike Messenger guy: They’re wrong, though. It belongs to me.
–6th Avenue & W. 4th Street
Queens girl: So, like, CBGBs is totally famous. Everyone has played there, from Aerosmith to shit you haven’t even heard of!
–Bowery & Bleecker
Lady: Hey, your dog just went to the bathroom; aren’t you going to pick that up?
Guy: Who the hell elected you the shit police?
–Battery Park
College girl: Excuse me, sir. Which way is the river?
Man: There’s two.
He walks away.
–Columbus Circle
Tourist girl: Is that the fake Statue of Liberty?
NYC girl: Yeah, the real one is in Jersey.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: weenie
