Intellectual: Dude, after September 11th, we had to go kill somebody. Someone had to die.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Intellectual: Dude, after September 11th, we had to go kill somebody. Someone had to die.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
A Russian man was blocking the way out of the store.
American woman: Excuse me.
Russian man: I’m picking my lemons.
American woman: Whadya want us all to do, play leapfrog over you? Move it please.
Russian man: You’re stupid.
American woman: Stupid? I got one word for you. Chernobyl! How’s that for stupid? Bet you were working there, you fucking asshole. Now move it, you fuckin’ retard!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Well-dressed young black guy: Excuse me sir, do you happen to have a cigarette?
Surfer guy: Motherfucker, you’re in New York City. Of course I have a cigarette.
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: rpk
(in front of the steps of The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where The Met is?
Pissed off local woman: Walk seven blocks that way, take a left and walk four blocks.
(tourist walks away)
Pissed off local woman to friend: The next time someone asks me that, I’m giving them directions to the Bronx.
–82nd & 5th
Overheard by: olivia
Girl: … so dogs were getting electrocuted and they kept telling people to put boots on their dogs–
Guy: What is with these New Yorkers and their dogs? If you want a creature that badly, have a child!
Girl: You are an idiot.
–110th & Amsterdam
Stranger to six-year-old girl who is one dollar short when paying: Hey there, sweetheart! I will pay that last dollar for you. Don't you worry.
Girl: No! You are fat!
–Dylan's Candy Bar
Overheard by: Acrown
Little girl: What’s that, mommy?
She points to double-decker site-seeing tourist bus.
Mom: That’s what the tourists use to look at us.
–46 & 8th
20-something male tourist: What's the crowd like here?
20-something male New Yorker: Random cougars.
–Line at Club, Meatpacking District
Snooty female 30-something to friend: Pap-smears are, to me, the new fake eyelashes.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: ianbobian
Aggressive New Yorker: So he pulls out his fucking fake-ass parking pass, and I pull out my gun. And I'm like "you still wanna park here, asshole? Go ahead!"
–60th St & Broadway
Screaming drunk girl to slightly sober guy: If you're going to be fake to me, at least be fake to my face!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Really!?!?
Girl on cell: Okay, call me when you're done entertaining the fake Jews.
–Cafe, Church & Walker
Loud woman: No, it was a fake. I'd have to like, sleep with him to get the real one, you know?
–Hester & Mott
Overheard by: Jensel
Frat tourist guy: Hey! I just hailed a New York City cab!
New Yorker, jumping into cab: I just stole your cab!
–Bleecker & Hudson
Overheard by: sean
