Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Girl: Is your package big?
Guy: …I don’t know…depends on what my mom ordered.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bowserhsu
Twin girl #A: It’s my birthday on Sunday…
Unique girl #1: Oh, so like, your sister was the one whose birthday it was Thursday. God, this must be so confusing for you guys.
Unique girl #2: Um, no, I highly doubt it is. They’re twins; they were born on the same day!
Unique girl #1: Did your parents just change it on the birth certificate to make it less confusing…or what? I would’ve just let you guys keep the different birthdays.
–40th & 5th
Mom: Stop giving your sister the evil eye! What did I tell you about giving people the evil eye?
Little boy: That they would be sent to Hell forever to live with the devil.
–Bx22 bus
Bookchick #1: I had to go and see a circumcision yesterday. Any mother who does that to their son is evil and should burn in Hell.
Bookchick #2: Yeah, but it’s much more hygienic.
Bookchick #1: So? Your labia gets dirty too.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Vic Payback
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Girl: So, Britney Spears said that her mother told her that, like, childbirth is like the most excruciating pain ever.
Guy: Well, look what she ended up with. If my child was a slutbag whore, I’d be in pain too.
–Hudson & Vandam
Little girl: Mommy, I gotta go diarrhea!
Mom: Not all poo-poo is diarrhea, you know.
–Museum of Natural History
Guy #1: I’ll do it, but they’ve got to remember that Sunday is the least rock ‘n roll day of the week.
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: Jeez…I’m not like those guys, hangin’ out with their wives and kids and shit. What do they know about playing? I need to play.
Guy #2: Why don’t you try to break up their families? Ruin their marriages or some shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Spiros Harlequinn
Girl: So I hate both my dad and my stepdad.
Guy: That’s because your mom has shitty taste.
Girl: No, she has good tits!
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: Tony Cacioppo
Two young girls switch seats while in their stroller.
Daddy dearest: Never do that again!
They shrink in horror. One starts to cry.
Daddy dearest: Now smile for Daddy!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: girl w/ camera
