Guy #1: Well the Yanks definitely blew this one.
Guy #2: Yeah, no Super Bowl for them this year.
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: George Geotes
Guy #1: Well the Yanks definitely blew this one.
Guy #2: Yeah, no Super Bowl for them this year.
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: George Geotes
Guy: You can never underestimate the importance of cuticles.
Girl: Yeah, you can.
–108th & Amsterdam
Drunk girl: Is that the line for the bathroom?
Sober guy: No, that’s people who like looking at the bathrooms.
–Harry’s, Long Island City
Overheard by: Trix
Pretty boy: Man, I think I’m getting a migraine.
Southern chick: Guys don’t get migraines, they get cluster headaches.
Pretty boy: Go the fuck back to the prairie, Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: dj wantwo
Guy #1: I just don’t like the taste of water.
Guy #2: Who doesn’t like water?
Guy #1: Me.
–Palladium, 14th Street
Overheard by: Brian
Woman: My butt is burning! This seat is so hot! I can’t believe it! Not that I think you’re interested, but I just want you to know my butt is burning.
Man: Actually, I kind of am interested.
Woman: That’s the one downside of having such nice seats: they’re in the sun all day! Seriously, my butt is on fire!
–US Open
Girl: Ugh. I hate it when guys come up to me and start talking about current events. Like I care. I just dismiss them.
–Queens College
Crazy lady: Canada doesn’t do this. You see this? You see this open gate blocking the sidewalk? Canada would never do this. This would never happen in Canada. Look at all these garbage bags on the side of the street. Now, that’s glamorous. Real glamorous. This would never happen in Toronto. Canada would never do this. Hey, you! Canada doesn’t do this.
Guy: Canada doesn’t do a lot of things.
–12th Street between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Cari
Women: Ugh! Excuse me?
Man: Excuse me? Excuse you!
Women: You keep grabbing your balls. It’s not nice!
Man: You’re right. I’m sorry.
–F train
Overheard by: MASON
Teenage girl: Don’t fucking touch me! Your hand is so pubic; you’ve been scratching your balls all day long!
–L train
Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”
–E train
Guy on cell: Dude, I can’t give you a bottle. And he don’t got none, either…dude, I don’t mean no offense, but you know you’re a junkie type, right?…yeah, I hear ya…Fine. Maybe for $20 I can find you something.
–86th between Lexington & 3rd
Lady: So is that why he brought you a Xanax and a sandwich?
–Ludlow & Delancey
Overheard by: Michi Hollydale
Businesslady: I was a meth addict. You know, methadone. I didn’t inject it, though.
–Starbucks, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: wit and whimsy
Girl on cell: So like I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I told my parents that I was on drugs…which, of course, nothing could be further from the truth…yeah, I can blame them for reacting that way!
–77th & Lex
Chick on cell: …I know. He’s so generous with prescriptions. And I keep telling him, “I’m a real pill popper!”
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Chick: If you can get the perfect balance between alcohol and cocaine, then you’ve really hit your peak.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Lucy
Woman: So I had to figure out which was cheaper: the drugs or the rehab.
–Kate’s Joint, Avenue B
Queer: God it’s so gross! Gays in there lifting and just sweating all their drugs out…I just don’t go to the gym on mondays; it smells like chemicals!
–15th & 7th
Girl on cell: Yeah, they all call her Vitamin H, can you believe that?…No, no, it’s alcohol that’s the gateway drug. You only want to do coke after you drink.
–2nd Avenue & 10th Street
Guy: Why do you always have to be a ho?
Girl: I’m good at it.
Guy: Why can’t you do other things you’re good at? Head, yes. Ho, no.
–Lit Lounge, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: kepler
Girl #1: My magic mirror told me I was looking thin today…and then I saw myself at work.
Girl #2: I know.
–36th & 7th
Overheard by: Selina
