Dude #1: We should have stayed in Midtown.
Dude #2: Why? All you can do there is buy socks and drugs.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Alisa!
Dude #1: We should have stayed in Midtown.
Dude #2: Why? All you can do there is buy socks and drugs.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Alisa!
Female tourist #1: What I hate is that they even put food coloring in cat food. And then when my kitty farts–
Female tourist #2: –You can tell where Fluffy’s been sitting.
–R train
Overheard by: Brian
Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.
–R train, Court St
Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!
–TGIFriday, 42nd St
Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.
–Crowded F train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.
–A train
Overheard by: Joseph
Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’
–R train
Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.
–4th & Lafayette
Thug #1: I’m so fat.
Thug #2: No G, you not fat!
Thug #1: You playin’.
Thug #2: I’ll tell you fat. When you put on sweats and they stretch out. That’s fat. Besides, you’re like what, six foot six? You can pull it off.
Thug #1: Thanks, G!
–Inwood Pathmark, 207th St
Overheard by: austin
Hefty guy: Excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom. Can I go in front of you?
Woman in front of him in line: I’m in a rush, too.
Hefty guy, to no one: Can you believe this city? Everyone is in a rush. Everyone is rude. I just need to go to the bathroom… No one will ever help you out.
Woman in front of him: Sir, you are the one that is being rude.
Hefty guy, yelling: I am not a sir, I am a ma’am! [Silence ensues.]
–CVS, 64th & 2nd
Overheard by: Shannon
Old woman #1: She’s a loony!
Old woman #2: Maybe she’s going through the change…
Old woman #1: No. She’s a loony.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: JC
Little girl: Mommy, I don’t want to go to that camp. They worship the devil there.
Mom: Oh, no, that’s just a silly song. Every camp has something silly like that that they do.
Little girl: But Mommy, they sing a song that goes, ‘I love the devil.’
Mom: When you get there you’ll see it’s just a funny game. All kids like to play little games like that.
–Union Square
Douchebag college student to girl: The cop looked at my ID and said "Come on, Mr California!" and I was like: "Mr California? Come on! I’ve been here for like four months!"
–G Train
Overheard by: Guy who puts 4 months to shame
Jersey girl: I don’t do Arkansas.
–Tram to Roosevelt Island
Eight-year-old to uncle: Please don’t move to Connecticut… It’s too hard to spell!
–38th & 2nd Ave
Aging queen to record store clerk: Oivia Newton-John’s fine and all, but she’s like 55 and living in Connecticut, so she lost her edge.
–Rebel Rebel Records: Bleecker and Christopher st.
Suit on cell: Do they make you sterile? Can you have sex? When you’re on the pills, can you have sex? You should go to Utah. They have great sex in Utah. The Mormons are famous for it. I think we should have easter dinner at 4.30 at Fekkai’s.
–43rd St between Madison & 5th
Black man, pulling up his pants while being chased out of the library by two Hispanic security guards: I’m sick of dem Hispanics, man! I’m sick of ’em! I love California.
–New York Public Library, 42nd St branch
Overheard by: Jason
Diva customer: How do I find out who was answering the phone this morning?!
Salesgirl: Um… It could have been anybody, I’m not sure…
Diva customer: Pshhh.
Salesgirl: I’m sorry. Why did you want to know?
Diva customer: Because this girl I talked to told me that you all had the Erin Skinny Destroyed jeans in the light color, and now y’all don’t have them, and I wanna report her!
Salesgirl: Um… Sorry.
–Abercrombie & Fitch, 5th Ave
Old Jewish lady: How are you today?
Old Jewish man: If I sold ice cream, I’d be great. If I sold ice cream in Central Park, that would be perfect. But me? I sell chickens in Bedford.
–8th St & Bedford Ave
