Old man #1: Whatever happened to her?
Old man #2: Oh…her? She died.
Old man #1: She died?
Old man #2: Yeah. She died.
Old man #1: Did you kill her?
–Fort Greene
Old man #1: Whatever happened to her?
Old man #2: Oh…her? She died.
Old man #1: She died?
Old man #2: Yeah. She died.
Old man #1: Did you kill her?
–Fort Greene
Sun-bathing girl #1: Uh oh, they’re bringing a dog into a No Dogs Allowed park.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I don’t understand that rule. I think it should be no kids or dogs allowed.
Sun-bathing girl #3: Yeah, I hate kids.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I’d kill a baby for a Birkin bag.
–Central Park
Overheard by: JB
Guy #1: I’m going to dead you, pal. You’ll see. The next time you come around you’re a dead man. You raped my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, you’re a dead man walkin’. I’m looking for you, you’ll see. You’re a dead man. I’m looking for you.
Guy #2: He’s right there!
–The Gate – Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Tarampi
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Black guy on cell: Yeah, man, you know. I don’t do that stuff no more, y’know what I’m sayin’? I used to, but I leave all that stuff in the past. I know where it’s all at, though, in case I have to go back to it, I can, y’know? I can still work it so if they fuck up, someone ain’t gonna see they momma in the mornin’, y’know?
–Metro North train
Overheard by: Mike Sidoti
Girl: If your cat has kittens, can I name one of them Chairman Meow?
Guy: If my cat has kittens, I’m going to put them in a plastic garbage bag and fling them into the river.
Girl: That’s not very gentlemanly.
–9 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Homeboy: I don’t discriminate. If anyone messes with my family, or my kids, I’m taking their life.
–Bx21 bus
Overheard by: Fiona
Chick on cell: I don’t know…I think I’m in Queens. The train’s above ground…I lost my keys and I have to be at work in 45 minutes. I’ll guess I’ll go in the same clothes…I don’t know what he does. I think something at night, though. I took his money.
–7 train
Girl on cell: That’s very nice to diagnose yourself like that but, really, fuck you…I still think you’re, like, a sociopath or something.
–6th Ave. between 50th & 51st
Teen #1, staring at gun with comma for trigger: So, what do you think it means?
Teen #2: It means: “as soon as I finish this sentence, I'm gonna kill you.”
–Museum of Modern Art
12-year-old kid: Shit, man, dem niggas isn’t shit.
Friend: Mmm-hm.
12-year-old kid: Shit, man… Man, I kill bofth dem niggas!
Friend: Mmm-hm, and I’d do it witcha.
12-year-old kid: Mmm-hm.
–188th & Hoffman, Bronx
Overheard by: why do i go to school in the Bronx?
Waspy girl to gaggle of friends: You know, medium-rare is, like, totally the new medium. You know what I mean? (friends stare blankly) No, I guess you wouldn't.
–6 Train
Overheard by: I Like Mine Bleeding
B&T CSR: Pork killed my father.
–80 Pine St
Overheard by: It's me
Stroller-pushing mom to friend: I gotta do something about her leg! It looks like freeze-dried meat.
–DeKalb & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
NYU girl to friend: My hair smells like meat.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: evanescent
Girl to friend: This is my pi system: it's like a sausage.
–NYU Classroom
Man to can of corned beef: God, you understand me so well.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Murphy
