20-something to another: If you want to sacrifice a horse, do it in your backyard.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.

Birmingham, Alabama

Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Guy, with friends: So when, as a child, you kill a pregnant bunny…

Overheard by: svggrdnbeauty and i

Psychology professor, speaking of horrible deaths in the French Revolution: People are terrible…they should have never been invented.

Rutgers University
Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: Person

Girl on cell: Well, I don’t care if they kill fucking humans; just don’t fucking kill the worms!

Overheard by: hearstoomuch

Four-year-old kid: Everything I touch dies.

Rest Stop

Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.


Overheard by: Meech

Little boy, dressed as a firefighter, looking at picture of a raccoon: That's a raccoon! I shoot raccoons! With a gun! Look at my boots!

Wheaton, Illinois

Overheard by: Emlyn

Four-year-old to mother: How do you kill a goat? With a gun?
Mother: Well…
Four-year-old, after epiphany: Or a sword!

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Charlie G.