Filthy man: You three ladies know this dude?
Girl #1: Uh, yeah.
Filthy man: Oh. Okay. ‘Cause I was about to pull out my AK47 and shoot him dead.
The elevator stops.
Filthy man: You all have a nice night.
–Hotel Carter, West 43rd Street
Overheard by: onesong
Woman: It’s a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What’s her name? …Um…Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Suit #1: I know where we are.
Suit #2: Where?
Suit #1: On the corner!
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Your Mom
Guy: Excuse me, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …What?
Guy: Can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …No.
Guy: Are you su–
Girl: Didn’t you fucking hear me, you idiot?
She gets up and starts walking away.
Girl: Jesus Christ, these fucking…
–Central Park
Crazy lady: We are ready to explain! She, however, will be with the dog…What do you think about that walker-talker? Why don’t you go walk and talk!”
–F train
Overheard by: Oh Miss Lauren
Hobo: I am the king, bow down before me…The president of the United States is a retarded fuck. American people don’t care about life. Why fight for America? Fuck sending a bunch of people over there to kill and be killed. It’s ridiculous. Bush thinks it’s okay. He’s the dictator, he’s the bad man. If I ever get my hands on him, I’m gonna torture his ass. I’ll cut his dick off. I’ll take a pipe from the fireplace and stick it up his ass. I’m the king. I’ll always be the king. I say this…Don’t ever believe America. America is godless. The people are full of shit. Anyone who goes to war for America has got to be out their motherfuckin’ mind.
–Central Park
Overheard by: psd
Girl #1: I can’t believe I did that last night.
Girl #2: You mean what you do every night? Get drunk and harrass a woman?
–60th & Lexington
Hobo: Got any money, man? I’m hungry.
Guy: Hey, how are you?
Hobo: How am I? How the fuck do you think I am, 50 fuckin’ people walked by and how much do I got? 10 fuckin cents, how the fuck am I. Shit, man. “How the fuck are you?” What kind of question is that? I’m fuckin’ homeless.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Erin H.
A crazy man takes out a whole frozen fish from his bag and bangs it on the side of the bus repeatedly.
Crazy man #2: You should pretend that’s the mayor.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Erika Strum
Girl #1: She’s like me. She’s emotionally unavailable.
Girl #2: I do have emotions; it just so happens that most of those emotions are anger.
–Columbus Circle
Crazy lady: I hate my fucking mother and I want to kill her. I want to watch her bleed. She is a fat lazy bitch. She was nothing but a container!
Guy: God will not forgive you if you kill your mother. Can you also keep it down please?
–PATH train
Overheard by: JMK
Chinese girl: I hate it when non-Chinese people make my Chinese food.
Puerto Rican guy: Yeah, when Chinese people make it, it tastes like greed.
Chinese girl: What did you say?
Puerto Rican guy: Relax. Italian food tastes like lazy complacency.
–49th & Broadway
