Girl: Oh my god, I read today that a woman who won a million dollars in the lottery last year won another million again.
Guy: Yeah, I heard that. That’s amazing. She seems really nice and humble about the winnings.
Girl: Yeah, fuck her.
–23rd & 10th gas station
Man: Yo, what are you selling?
Vendor: Gelato.
Man: What’s that?
Vendor: Read the sign…Fuck you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Chris
White woman: You see why I don’t live in Manhattan, especially on the Upper East Side.
White man: Why is that?
White woman: Too many freaking dogs. Everybody and their mother have a goddamn dog. The Upper East Side smells like dog shit and these people will not clean up after their dogs.
White man: I know what you mean. Too many dogs.
White woman: These people should be shot for not cleaning up after their dogs. They should not be allowed to own an animal if they can’t clean up after it. What, rich and snobbish people aren’t allowed to pick up dog crap, is that it?
White man: Well, at least the West Side is not so bad.
White woman: I’m not sure it is any better.
–80th & 3rd
Power suit woman on cell: No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you listening to me? I said no! Absolutely not…Why are we arguing about this? Are you listening to me? No. No. You never listen to me. You never listen…Fine. Fine. Do whatever you have to do. But let me tell you this: if you ever thought that I loved you, you have been kidding yourself for a long time!
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: joe jervis
Puerto Rican kid #1: You shut the fuck up, motherfucker!
Puerto Rican kid #2: Come say that to my face! I’ll brush yo’ teeth with my pee pee!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yamin Reshamwala
Businesswoman: You know, I used to get worked up over that too, but it’s not my career. I don’t care anymore. Just pay me and don’t disrespect me, slap my ass, or call me “nigger”, and we’re cool.
–Quizno’s, 14th & 6th
Old lady: What’s going on here?
Woman on line: They’re premiering a new film by Todd Solondz
Old lady: Yeah, but what’s it about?
Woman on line: It’s a pretty dark, sadistic movie.
Old lady: What’s it about? Did you not understand me the first time?
Woman on line: I haven’t seen it yet so I don’t know!
Old lady: Jesus. Standing on line for god knows how long and you don’t know a damn thing about what you’re there for!
–outside Chelsea Cinemas, W. 23rd Street
Overheard by: Abbie Mullaney
A guy pops his gum.
An older woman stands up and yells: Do you think I don’t hear you? I’ve asked several times, who is popping their gum, and everyone looks around, and it was you! You can’t do that in a public place! It’s a violent sound! Now, will you be able to control yourself, or will I have to run away from you?
–Penn Station
Woman: Excuse me. I have to put something in my dryer.
Girl folding clothes: Oh, okay.
Woman: Excuse me! I have to put something else in my dryer.
Girl: O-kay…
Woman: Now I have to take something out of my dryer…unbelievable.
Girl: Wow, you’re a case!
Woman: I’m a what?!
Girl: A case. I’ve never seen anybody so worked up over laundry.
Woman: Well, you haven’t lived very long, have you?
Girl: Not as long as you!…Have a nice day!
Woman: Fuck you!
–York Launderette, York Avenue and E. 82nd
Wife: Do whatever you want…it’s not my mother who died!
–JFK
