Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
Girl #1: …sitting in a tree.
Girl #2: K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
Girl #1: First comes love–
Girl #2: Then comes the baby–
–125th/Saint Nicholas station
Overheard by: acq3
Guy: I touched your eyeball, doesn’t that mean I love you?
Girl: Touch it again!
Guy: No you freak!
–N/W Broadway station
Power suit woman on cell: No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you listening to me? I said no! Absolutely not…Why are we arguing about this? Are you listening to me? No. No. You never listen to me. You never listen…Fine. Fine. Do whatever you have to do. But let me tell you this: if you ever thought that I loved you, you have been kidding yourself for a long time!
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: joe jervis
Chick #1: How long did it take Corey to tell you he loved you?
Chick #2: I don’t know…I was drunk.
–Union Square
Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!
–JFK airport bar
Spinster #1: Really reminds you of your first love, doesn’t it?
Spinster #2: Yeah, that and segregation.
—Hairspray matinee
Guy, about Empire State Building: Yeah, and for Valentine's Day they put a heart on it.
Visiting Australian woman: A what? A hard-on?
–Rooftop, Watching 4th of July Fireworks
Overheard by: i saw one of those on a building once…
Two-year-old in stroller: I love Barack Obama!
Exasperated mother: We know. We know you love Barack Obama.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Teen girl: So, do you love me or what?
Teen guy: Fuck you, fine. I guess I do love you… But I love my girlfriend, too.
Teen girl: What?!
Teen guy: Yeah, but for some reason I love your dumb ass more.
Teen girl: [Swoons.]
–1 train
