Girl: Get the fuck outta here! I’ll fucking kill you!
Guy: So, I was thinking about…
Girl: I just threatened your life and you have nothing to say?!
Guy, shrugging: I love you.

–Park Ave

Overheard by: LiveNY

Fat Slob: I think I love you, babe. Ooh, that tattoo is cute. “Rot in Peace.”

–Post Office, Bensonhurst

Girl #1: Do you like money? Cause I like money!
Girl #2: I like money, I really like money!
Girl #3: No, no, no, I love money! I love it!

–6th Ave & 26th St, Outside Nightspot

Overheard by: Lynchbeast

Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!

–Church & Chambers

Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.

–Central Park, Great Lawn

Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?

–Prince St Cafe

Overheard by: It DID

Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.

–Harlem Polling Station

Overheard by: Joe

Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?

Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.

–113th St

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Man with beer #1: I love you, beer. You satisfy me in ways my wife never could.
Man with beer #2 to other man: You satisfy me in ways my wife never could…

–NJT to Penn Station

Overheard by: Geologist

Thugette: Has anyone ever done anything romantical for ya'll hoes?
Hoes (together): Nahhh.

–6 Train

Overheard by: What ya'll watchin hoes?

Well dressed party-goer: No, like, I went to Princeton -we lied all the time.


Overheard by: Cuny Graduate

Dude on cell: Okay… Great. Yeah. But I gotta go. My mom’s calling. [Hangs up, shoves phone in pocket.]

–Wagner College, Staten Island

Overheard by: Squiggs

Woman on cell: I just don’t understand why he got so freaked out about it. I said "I love you" -big fucking deal. That doesn’t mean anything. I could have been lying. I was lying, for Christ’s sake.

–L Train

Crazy hobo: Hillary Clinton is a liar, she lies. We’ve been married for 28 years and she won’t admit to it. Liar. Afraid of integration, that’s Hillary.

–E Train

Overheard by: Liz Beaux

Suit on cell to his wife: Yeah… Yeah… Oh, honey, I have to go, this is it, the train’s here. Bye! [Clicks over to the other line.] Hey buddy! How’s it going!

–125th St. Subway platform

Overheard by: EthanK

Twentysomething player on cell, picking fresh hairs off him : I feel you, I feel you, I can’t meet up with you now, I have to go to Forest Hills to get my haircut.

–N Train

Overheard by: john

Guy on cell: Most people lie to get out of jury duty and here I am being honest about NAMBLA.

–73rd & 2nd

Overheard by: melissa

Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the only man that will ever love you!
Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!

–Broadway & Wall St.

Wife, playing Uno: Skip, skip, skip, skip, wild card, draw four, blue, draw two, uno, I win.
Husband: Wow. I’m bleeding.
Wife: I hope it’s from the ass, because that’s where I just raped you.
Husband: God, I love you.

–Central Park

Guy: This song Ring of Fire is about Johnny Cash falling in love with June Carter.
Girl: Really? I thought it was about a rimjob.

–Pink Pony, Ludlow Street

Overheard by: Michael Roche