Couples

Woman: Every time I try to explain it to you, you don’t understand–
Man: I’m killing your dreams?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Sean Schuyler

Girl: You need more to do. Want to look for a cool coffee table for me?
Guy: What kind? Wood, metal, glass, bamboo, brick?
Girl: I’m not sure. I thought round, wood at first but now I think maybe something more funky like mosaic.
Guy: Why not make one? Then it could be round wood with a mosaic on it.
Girl: But that requires effort on my part.
Guy: So what? It would be fun and worthwhile, you know, instead of putting makeup on HIV people.

–49th & 6th

Overheard by: Scott

Girlfriend: It’s just because she’s so…unconventional.
Boyfriend: By “unconventional”, do you mean “pretty”?

–86th & Park

Overheard by: CStix

Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!

–JFK airport bar

Wife: Do whatever you want…it’s not my mother who died!

–JFK

Dumpy girl, holding Babeland shopping bag: Aren’t you glad we went there, sweetie?
Dumpy guy, holding same kind of bag: I’ll let you know later, babe.

–1 train

Woman: Why was the box of cereal in the bathroom with you this morning?
Man: What else was I gonna write on?

–Manhattan-bound D train

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Hungover girl #1: I can't believe how wasted we got last night.
Hungover girl #2: I know, I feel like shit. It's a nice day though.
Random neighbor: Oh… look! It's the two drunk girls that cursed me out last night.
Random neighbor's girlfriend: What did you do?

–Upper East Side

Chick: Oh, yeah, you were gonna call your mom.
Dude: I was?
Chick: Yeah — about your sister.
Dude: Oh, yeah. What did you want me to ask her?

–Union Square

Overheard by: The Antithesis

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13th St