Wheresday One-Liners

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!

–Broadway & Waverly

Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Overheard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: queenofscots

Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?

–Costco, Brooklyn

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Overheard by: Special K

Posted on December 6, 2020
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Couples, Crying, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

You Can Just Stop Angling for a Two-Guy Threesome

Chick: So, David*, do you long for the protective touch of a man?
Guy: I’m your boyfriend.
Chick: So? Sometimes I think you long for a strong man to hold you and shelter you…
Guy: Goddammit, I am not gay!

–6 train

Posted on November 23, 2020
Couples, On the Subway, Three is Company

I Also Love That

Aging rocker: I love you, baby face.
Drunk wife, endearingly: Fuck my tits.

–R Train

Overheard by: erak

Posted on October 23, 2020
Comebacks, Couples, Drunks, Love, On the Subway, Rack, Sex

It Makes It Look Bigger

Girlfriend: So, my Christopher is a little feminine sometimes…
Boyfriend: I spent two hours shaving this morning!
Dude: Yeah, but shaving what, is the question.
Girlfriend: Not that.
Boyfriend: No, that was yesterday.
Dude, disgusted: I was talking about your legs, but thanks…

–Hershey’s store, Times Square

Overheard by: equally disgusted

Posted on August 27, 2020
Body Parts, Couples, Health and Hygiene, Sexuality, Store, Times Square

Shows What You Know– My Girlfriend's a Lesbian.

Street vendor: T-shirts, get your “I love New York” t-shirts! Only three dollars. Much better than you'd normally get at a store. T-shirts, get your t-shirts!
20-something guy to girlfriend: Too expensive, babe. Sorry.
Vendor to guy: Yeah, well your girlfriend can have one for free because of how amazing she was last night.

–Times Square

Overheard by: i LOVE new york

Posted on August 1, 2020
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Free stuff!, Infidelity, Money & Class, Sex, Street, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers

Everyone Knows Madame Curie’s That Trannie Who Paints Nails at the Beauty Bar

Hipster dude: … And she ended up renting some movie about Madame Curie.
Hipster chick: That’s the wax lady, right? Over at Times Square? I didn’t know there was a movie about her.
Hipster dude: I hate you.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Red Genesis

Posted on June 29, 2020
Couples, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

I Am So Telling Her about the Lipstick

Man: I love your mom.
Woman: What?! No you don’t!
Man: I always speak well of her.
Woman: No, you don’t.
Man: I don’t say, ‘I gave your mom 20 bucks for a cab home last night.’ I don’t say, ‘Tell your mom to stop changing her lipstick — my dick looks like a rainbow.’ I don’t say, ‘After meeting your mom, all my friends have herpes.’ In fact, I don’t say anything rude at all.
Woman, cell ringing: It’s mom calling.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Posted on June 26, 2020
Couples, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village

Raise Your Hand If You Want to Buy This Dude a Beer

Tourist man to tourist wife: Look at that sign: “No honking, $350 fine.”
Sane-looking New Yorker: It's unreal, isn't it, how the government continues to discriminate against geese? No justice, no peace.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: Richard Nixon

Posted on June 3, 2020
Couples, Government, Money & Class, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Melinda Experiences Multi-Level Embarrassment

Guy: I have a confession to make.
Girl: Can’t you make it to me after the movie?
Guy: I can’t help it, but I took a picture of your butthole last night while you were dozing.
Girl: You what?!
Obese lady in front row: Would you queers shut the fuck up?! I’m trying to watch this shit!

–AMC Theater, 42nd St

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on May 2, 2020
Asshole, Biotechs, Couples, Movie Theaters

Couples