Construction guy #1: Then we gotta fuckin’ knock down that bitch of a fuckin’ wall…in this fuckin’ humidity, can you fuckin’ believe they’re makin’ us do that shit?
Construction guy #2: I know. That fuckin’ shit is fuckin bullshit. We should fuckin’ kill the fuckin’ captain and shit, makin’ us take down a fuckin’ wall that we fuckin’ put up in the–
Construction guy #1: Ooh! Italian ices!
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Chick: What is the difference between the red top and the green top on the soy sauce?
Man: …The red one is spicy.
–Ruby Foo’s, 49th & Broadway
Swedish chick #1: So don’t Chinese people eat, like, cats and dogs?
Chinese manicurist: Ah, no. Ah, yes, but just little bit.
Swedish chick #2: That’s okay. In Sweden we eat fish that has been sitting in salt juices for a year.
–Nail salon, 2nd Avenue between St. Mark’s & 7th
Chinese girl: I hate it when non-Chinese people make my Chinese food.
Puerto Rican guy: Yeah, when Chinese people make it, it tastes like greed.
Chinese girl: What did you say?
Puerto Rican guy: Relax. Italian food tastes like lazy complacency.
–49th & Broadway
Girl #1: So I woke up with beans and rice in my bed again.
Girl #2: Hmmm, it sounds like the Mexican food fairies paid you another visit last night. I hate when that happens…you know, when I wake up next to a Twinkie.
–46th & Lexington
Guy: So, Indian food?
Girl: Do you think in India, they just call it food?
–2nd Avenue & 6th Street
Lady: Do you have a sushi menu?
Waiter: This is a Chinese restaurant.
Lady: …So no sushi?
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Joey
Tourist guy: So what’s the difference between Korean and Chinese?
New York guy: You mean the food, or the people?
Tourist guy: Either one. But I only care about the food.
–Bayard & Mulberry
Overheard by: iiams
Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know?
–F train
Overheard by: emdashes
Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat.
–St. Mark’s Place
Thug: You wanna go for margaritas?
Girl: Nah, that’s all right.
Thug: Moo goo gai pan?
–Rivington Street
Overheard by: siara waseem
