Tourist guy: So what’s the difference between Korean and Chinese?
New York guy: You mean the food, or the people?
Tourist guy: Either one. But I only care about the food.
–Bayard & Mulberry
Overheard by: iiams
Tourist guy: So what’s the difference between Korean and Chinese?
New York guy: You mean the food, or the people?
Tourist guy: Either one. But I only care about the food.
–Bayard & Mulberry
Overheard by: iiams
Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know?
–F train
Overheard by: emdashes
Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat.
–St. Mark’s Place
Thug: You wanna go for margaritas?
Girl: Nah, that’s all right.
Thug: Moo goo gai pan?
–Rivington Street
Overheard by: siara waseem
Patron: They know what I am: drunk, gay, and in search of food!…This tastes like cock!
He was later escorted out of the restaurant with his friends.
–Dawat, E. 58th St.
Overheard by: MissHell
Hipster #1: But you’re not even Chinese!
Hipster #2: That doesn’t matter.
Hipster #1: It does because any non-Asian person who eats with chopsticks is pretentious.
Hipster #2: I’m not pretentious because I’m an American who uses chopsticks; I’m pretentious because I speak fluent Latin.
–103rd St. station
Guy #1: You know what I found out about Japanese people? They love noodles.
Guy #2: Really?
–Anytime Cafe, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Manlio Lo Conte
Woman: That Chinese food was so cheap.
Man #1: That’s because it was either dog or koala meat.
Man #2: Aren’t koalas endangered?
Man #1: No, they’re not endangered. They’re just starving.
–Downtown elevator
Yuppie customer: Can we have the tasting menu?
Waitress: You eat everything?
Yuppie customer: Yeah, sure.
Waitress: Gizzard?
Yuppie customer: I’ll eat the asshole if you put a tasty sauce on it.
Waitress: We don’t serve assholes here.
Yuppie customer: This is New York. How do you stay in business?
–Japanese restaurant
Overheard by: The Professor
Pampered Tribeca child #1: Daddy! Please!
Pampered Tribeca child #2: Daddy! Please can we have Mediterranean eggplant for dinner??
Nebbishy Tribeca dad: You know I can't eat that! It's a carb!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Briguy
Ghetto guy #1: Yo man, you know what I want right now?
Ghetto guy #2: Pussy?
Ghetto guy #1: Naw man, one of those falafels.
Ghetto guy #2: Not pussy?
Ghetto guy #1, lifting hands up like scale: Man, falafel. Pussy. Pussy. Falafel. I'd take that falafel any day. (pause) Does that make me gay?
–Q Train
