Koreans

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.

–N Train

Overheard by: annearchist

Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?

–Hunter College

Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?

–JCPenny

Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Samantha

Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nicole

Chick: When I get mad, my Koreanness comes out.

–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th

Overheard by: Lani A.

Young Asian woman: That’s why your country has such a low birth rate. In Korea the men just club women over the head and drag them home.
Young Asian man: [Pausing] I don’t believe you.

–Tosca, The Met

Overheard by: busyboy

North Shore Animal League Rep: Would you like to save a puppy today?
Korean guy: No! I eat them!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: mrt253

Five-year-old Korean boy with accent: Mommy, I fart! [Mom is silent.] Mommy, I fart! Did you hear it?
Korean mom, also with accent: I pretty sure everyone hear it.

–LIRR into Penn Station

Overheard by: c-smith

White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…

Although Mimes in Whiteface Are Worse

Toddler girl: And if she does it again, I'll kill her!
Mother: What?
Korean lady crossing the street: Blackface!

–W 3rd & Sullivan St

Overheard by: Billy Pelt

White guy: So Lauren is coming with us on the trip.
Korean guy: Lauren? She's got the crazy eyes!
White guy: Crazy eyes?
Korean guy: Yeah, you can't trust a girl with the crazy eyes.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Sherlock N Holmes

Korean girl to white guy: Why do you find it necessary to squint your eyes when you do an Asian impression?

–L Train

Overheard by: john.ainley

White girl to friends: And then a ninjician pulled a chopstick out of her ear!

–Veniero's Pastry Shop

Overheard by: Amy

Asian chick: Asians are obsessed with analyzing poop.

–Max Restaurant, Tribeca

Overheard by: Shringle

Woman begging for change: Can I get some quarters? (pause) My cousin-in-law is Chinese. Come on!

–52nd & Lexington

Overheard by: NMT

Asian woman, after sneezing: Just cuz I'm a sneezin' Asian don't mean I got SARS.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: CNaughty

White girl on cell: Okay, I'm going to sound crazy, but there's this Asian guy in one of my classes…and he looks just like Ashley…and I just want to run up and say "Can I take a picture of you? Because you look just like my black girlfriend!"

–Dorm Building, Cooper Union

Construction worker #1: This place is expensive.
Construction worker #2: Ca-ching.
Korean store owner: I'm not fucking Chinese.
Construction worker #2: It's the cash register sound.
Korean store owner: I don't care, I'm not fucking Chinese, get out of my store.

–Canal & West Broadway

Overheard by: also not chinese