Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.
–D train
Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.
–D train
Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Mom: Stop giving your sister the evil eye! What did I tell you about giving people the evil eye?
Little boy: That they would be sent to Hell forever to live with the devil.
–Bx22 bus
Bookchick #1: I had to go and see a circumcision yesterday. Any mother who does that to their son is evil and should burn in Hell.
Bookchick #2: Yeah, but it’s much more hygienic.
Bookchick #1: So? Your labia gets dirty too.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Guy: Plutarch was–
Girl: Plutarch can suck my cunt. He was stupid.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jesse Shaver
Girl on cell: Hey, how are you? My vagina is sore.
–34th & 3rd
HS boy: Hey, you guys are a bunch of pussies. Do you realize you’re running from a handicapped lady? I mean, I could see if she came at you with a cane or something.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle T.
Man on cell: I can’t wait for the naked pussy party.
–Employees Only, Hudson Street
Overheard by: Max T-M
Cop: She ovulates tumbleweeds.
–Ludlow & Delancey
Overheard by: Erin Bradley
Girl on cell: Yeah, I think it’s a yeast infection…yeah…itching. It’s been like a week, though…I’m not going to a gynecologist…I had a bad experience once. I don’t know how much longer I can take it, though.
–6th Avenue & 8th Street
Bag lady: My name is Madge. I am homeless, completely broke. I haven’t eaten in days. I have my period and I am bleeding my clothes now.
–6 train
Chick: I swear to god, I don’t know how nothing has happened to me yet, either I am infertile or the cure for herpes is in my vagina.
–6 train
Overheard by: brynn
Man on cell: Hey, baby. It’s sure hot out today…you better get out those hot pants…I mean hot shorts…your pussy must be burning up.
–56th & Broadway
Businesswoman on cell: Aw, man. If only she were a hermaphrodite! Damn!
–7th & Perry
Korean dude: Are you suggesting that you have a super dope vagina?
–Camel, W. 33rd Street
Overheard by: Dave Min
Man: We’re going to have a tampon fondue!
–Duane Reade, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: molina1230
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
Hipster girl: Baby what’s that smell? Is that your feet?
Hipster boy: What? I don’t know, probably.
Hipster girl: Oh my god. The smell, I can’t take it.
Hipster boy: It doesn’t smell as bad as the old cooter did the other night when we were screwing. You didn’t hear me say anything when you shoved my face into that crockpot of bacteria.
–F train
Overheard by: Gracelyn
Guy #1: That’s a cute dog.
Guy #2: Thanks, she’s my daughter.
Guy #1: …How is that possible?
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s right: I gave birth to her, she came out of my vagina.
–98th & 5th
Hobo: Excuse me miss, but may I have some pussy?
Woman: Excuse me?
Hobo: Can I have some pussy?
Woman: I don’t know, I suggest that you call your mother.
–Thompson & Spring
