Wednesday One‐Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half‐blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.

–N train

Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero

30‐year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…

–Book release, Spring & Mercer

Overheard by: santos l. halper

Man to five‐year‐old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.

–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St

Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…

Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?

–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It

Posted on October 8, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Books & Writing, Death, Global Geography, Magic, Pop Culture, Public Transportation, Theater & Dance, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

The Plumber’s in There Now

Lawyer #1: Why are you so pissy this morning?
Lawyer #2: Eh, just frustration. My wife’s vagina is out of order again.

–Supreme Court, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on October 4, 2021
Gripes, Lawyers, Queens, Vagina

That Old Line Again

Girl #1: I just got waxed. Feel my legs, they’re sooo soft.
Girl #2: Ooohhh. Sooo smooth.
Girl #1: Yeah, you should feel my cooch.

–Columbia University

Posted on September 8, 2021
Body Parts, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Places, Private Parts, Topics, Vagina

P.S. Your Boobs Are Crooked Today

Girl #1: Do I have a camel toe?
Girl #2: No, you’re good.
Girl #1: Thanks for being a good friend and looking at my vagina.

–109^th St & Amersterdam

Overheard by: Kizzle

Posted on August 16, 2021
Default, Girls, Physical appearance, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina

I’m Just Uncomfortable Face to Face With a Stranger

Hipster girl #1: So basically he put his penis in your vagina, but you’re too nervous to go on a date with him?
Hipster girl #2: Yep.
Hipster girl #1: Girl, you’re fucked in the head.

–1^st Ave & 11^th St

Posted on August 15, 2021
Dating, Hipsters, Penis, Psychology, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Vagina

Poo Poo Platter

Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.

–W Train

Posted on July 2, 2021
Ass, Balls, Boys, Chinese, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Penis, Vagina

What Not to Wednesday One‐Liner

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…

–LIRR

Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.

–Bloomingdale’s

Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V‑neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Tracy