Fat creepster: Where you goin’, girl?
Terrified blonde: … Home?
Fat creepster: Have a nice cunt! Oh, day! I mean ‘day’!

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Freudian Slip

Friend #1: Can you believe that? I never heard from her again!
Friend #2: Well, at least you got to see her vagina.

–48th & 10th

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.

–N train

Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero

30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…

–Book release, Spring & Mercer

Overheard by: santos l. halper

Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.

–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St

Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…

Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?

–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It

Lawyer #1: Why are you so pissy this morning?
Lawyer #2: Eh, just frustration. My wife’s vagina is out of order again.

–Supreme Court, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

Girl #1: I just got waxed. Feel my legs, they’re sooo soft.
Girl #2: Ooohhh. Sooo smooth.
Girl #1: Yeah, you should feel my cooch.

–Columbia University

Girl #1: Do I have a camel toe?
Girl #2: No, you're good.
Girl #1: Thanks for being a good friend and looking at my vagina.

–109th St & Amersterdam

Overheard by: Kizzle

Hipster girl #1: So basically he put his penis in your vagina, but you're too nervous to go on a date with him?
Hipster girl #2: Yep.
Hipster girl #1: Girl, you're fucked in the head.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.

–W Train

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…


Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.


Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!


Overheard by: Tracy

Man on cell: Is your vagina swelled to the same degree as my penis is swelled?

–Union Square

Overheard by: SayWhhhaat

40-ish guy on cell: So, did she show you her vagina?

–43rd & 3rd

Black guy on cell: This is why I never beg for pussy!

–Spring St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Emily B

Girl: My vagina is the Lincoln Tunnel.

–NJ Transit, Penn Station

Overheard by: Jason Kruta

13-year-old boy to teen girl: I mean, the pussy’s good, but it ain’t that good.

–Jamaica-bound E train

Overheard by: Rhonda hearts Queens

Chick on cell: I don’t know why I listened to you. It hurt. A lot. My vagina feels like it’s on fire. I’m never doing that again.

–92nd & 3rd