Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: TMI

Guy #1: What aisle are we looking for?
Guy #2: We should be looking under teen girls' rugs.
Guy #1: Yikes!

Furniture Store
New York City, New York

College girl: Yeah, but I don't fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don't have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can't believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.

College Campus
SoCal, California

Guy reading iPhone: IT sez here some gal in Fort Meyers was arrested and later found to have a knife hidden in her vagina.
Friend: I could go with that…

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Café con leche

Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?

Baltimore, Maryland

Girl on cell: We’re going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: K

Blonde girl: Haha, imagine if my flange was a romantic love chasm… It's more of a cheeky fuckhole.


Overheard by: Gibson

Old lady to grown daughter: Well you know what your brother's problem is? He's pussy-whipped!

San Jose, California

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Guy: If I had a vagina I'd have all kinds of stuff up there. (pause) I'd use it as a shower caddy.

Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Laura