Manicuree #1: I learned something new about myself today–
Manicuree #2: Oh, what was that?
Manicuree #1: –at my gynecologist’s office.
Manicuree #2: Hmm?
Manicuree #1: I learned that I need an extra long speculum for my pelvic exams.
–Astoria nail salon
Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick!
–6th Avenue & 9th Street
Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell.
–43rd & 5th
Overheard by: James Wilson
Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin.
–Port Authority
Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now.
–4 train
Overheard by: LatiE
Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.”
–38th & 3rd
Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything.
–Maiden Lane & Pearl Street
Overheard by: SKG
Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee.
–25th & 5th
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff.
–50th & Madison
Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores!
–SI party
Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
Teen boy: I’m sorry my vagina is so disgusting.
Teen girl: Me too. I’m sorry it doesn’t make you happy.
Teen boy: Me fucking too. It was crying today. Could you hear it?
Teen girl: Yeah, I could see tears falling out of your pants.
–Times Square
Chick on cell: …It was the worst. First of all, he have a big dick. And to make things worse, he did not know how to fuck…I mean, come on, what the hell is that all about?…Uh huh, yeah, you are probably right…and another thing he couldn’t fit…I guess my pussy was too small or something…yeah, uh huh, I don’t think so. It’s not worth the trouble. Would you go back?…Exactly.
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jada
Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Tall woman on cell: …there’s something I haven’t told you too: I’ve been sleeping with hundreds of women all this time!
–4th Ave. & 10th St.
Guy: Dude, who needs a date when you’ve got a vagina?
–8th & University
Overheard by: Chitin
Chick on cell: He said I’m high maintenance. I am not high maintenance…I’m crazy, but I’m not high maintenance.
–Uncle Ming’s, Avenue B
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one.
–70th & 2nd
Overheard by: nita
Queer: So how was your date?
Hispanic chick: Oh, it was nice, he was nice and sweet, and a real gentleman, you know, he would hold open doors, make sure to walk between me and the street, you know, really nice.
Queer: Oh, you know what that totally screams?
Hispanic chick: What?
Queer: That totally screams: I want to get into your vagina right now!
–6 train
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Teen girl #1: Noooo! Getting your cooch pierced be a bad idea. You know how much that shit hurts?
Teen girl #2: No shit! That’s why I’m gonna be on E at the time. You think I’m stupid enough to do it sober?
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Woman #1: And what did he want to talk about?
Woman #2: My beaver.
Woman #1: Can you imagine his nerve?
Woman #2: Honey, lots of people are talking about my beaver. Hell more are thinking about it if they aren’t already fucking it.
–Lexington & 42nd
