Chick on cell: …It was the worst. First of all, he have a big dick. And to make things worse, he did not know how to fuck…I mean, come on, what the hell is that all about?…Uh huh, yeah, you are probably right…and another thing he couldn’t fit…I guess my pussy was too small or something…yeah, uh huh, I don’t think so. It’s not worth the trouble. Would you go back?…Exactly.
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jada
Queer #1: Honey, my vagina is itchy.
Queer #2: So scratch it.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: Winnie
Tall woman on cell: …there’s something I haven’t told you too: I’ve been sleeping with hundreds of women all this time!
–4th Ave. & 10th St.
Guy: Dude, who needs a date when you’ve got a vagina?
–8th & University
Overheard by: Chitin
Chick on cell: He said I’m high maintenance. I am not high maintenance…I’m crazy, but I’m not high maintenance.
–Uncle Ming’s, Avenue B
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one.
–70th & 2nd
Overheard by: nita
Queer: So how was your date?
Hispanic chick: Oh, it was nice, he was nice and sweet, and a real gentleman, you know, he would hold open doors, make sure to walk between me and the street, you know, really nice.
Queer: Oh, you know what that totally screams?
Hispanic chick: What?
Queer: That totally screams: I want to get into your vagina right now!
–6 train
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Teen girl #1: Noooo! Getting your cooch pierced be a bad idea. You know how much that shit hurts?
Teen girl #2: No shit! That’s why I’m gonna be on E at the time. You think I’m stupid enough to do it sober?
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Woman #1: And what did he want to talk about?
Woman #2: My beaver.
Woman #1: Can you imagine his nerve?
Woman #2: Honey, lots of people are talking about my beaver. Hell more are thinking about it if they aren’t already fucking it.
–Lexington & 42nd
Cashier Lady #1: What I’ma do if I gotta go to the pussy doctor? Tell the boss I gotta itch in my pussy?
Cashier Lady #2: Yeah, you gotta protect your privacy.
Cashier Lady #1: They don’t gotta know all about my pussy’s issues.
–Hunter College cafeteria
Overheard by: Carrie
Receptionist: So, it’s your name on the insurance card?
Girl: No, it’s my partner’s.
Receptionist: Your husband?
Girl: No, my partner.
Receptionist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emily.
Receptionist: Your husband’s name is Emily?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Receptionist: Oh…Ohhh.
–Park Slope ob/gyn
Receptionist: Do you have an appointment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Receptionist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Receptionist: This is gynecology.
Guy: Ah.
–W. 72nd St. ob/gyn
Fat black chick: I can’t come when I’m having regular sex.
Skinny black chick: Why not?
Fat black chick: I don’t know. It just doesn’t happen.
Skinny black chick: Maybe the guy sucks.
Fat black chick: And I have a sensitive clit, too.
Skinny black chick: He definitely ain’t hittin it right. Maybe you should get rid of that punk ass bitch.
–46th St. & 8th Ave.
