Woman #1: I was watching this travel show the other night, and there was a bit about this cathedral in Prague built entirely out of bones.
Woman #2: Human bones?
Woman #1: Yeah. I think it was done as a memorial to the Jews that died in World War II.
–Michael Jordan’s Steak House, Vanderbilt Avenue
Mom: I don’t know why you brought me here. You know there’s nothing here that I can eat.
Chick: What about the steak, Mom? I thought you like steak?
Mom: Goddamn it! You know I forgot my teeth!
–Ruth’s Chris Steak House, W. 51st Street
Lady in stall #1: So, you want to look for that book you wanted?
Lady in stall #2: We are in the bathroom!
Lady in stall #1: It’s a bookstore bathroom.
Saleslady in stall #3: Which book are you looking for?
Lady in stall #2: The one by Tupac Shakur.
Saleslady in stall #3: We have it in the Media aisle.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Waitress: Do you want the pierogies boiled or fried?
Lady: What’s the difference?
Waitress: One’s boiled, one’s fried.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue & 9th Street
Man: Should we get something special to drink with this?
Woman: No, I think I’m just going to have water. I need to detoxify myself from all the coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, Red Bull and marijuana I’m constantly ingesting.
–Astoria
Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one.
–70th & 2nd
Overheard by: nita
Woman #1: Why aren’t they getting married in the Church?
Woman #2: Well, they did the pre-Cana, but she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome…
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Woman, 40s: So why did he shoot himself?
Guy, 40s: I guess he must’ve been depressed.
–2 train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Girl #1: I have to go to a wine-tasting tonight for some charity.
Girl #2: What’s the charity?
Girl #1: I don’t know, some kind of dystrophy.
–In front of the Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Frances E. Flynn
Chick #1: Yeah, she totally called her a slut.
Chick #2: No way! Wow!
Chick #1: Yeah, she did.
Chick #2: Wow, that’s rough… well, actually, she is kind of a slut. I guess it’s not really an insult if it’s true.
–Sarabeth’s Restaurant, 92nd & Madison
Overheard by: Dan
