Ladies Who Lunch

Man: Should we get something special to drink with this?
Woman: No, I think I’m just going to have water. I need to detoxify myself from all the coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, Red Bull and marijuana I’m constantly ingesting.

–Astoria

Woman #1: He was complaining about how pussy tastes.
Woman #2: Well, that’s a fucking valid complaint, if I ever heard one.

–70th & 2nd

Overheard by: nita

Woman #1: Why aren’t they getting married in the Church?
Woman #2: Well, they did the pre-Cana, but she had Irritable Bowel Syndrome…

–45th & 6th

Overheard by: Nick Draven

Woman, 40s: So why did he shoot himself?
Guy, 40s: I guess he must’ve been depressed.

–2 train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Girl #1: I have to go to a wine-tasting tonight for some charity.
Girl #2: What’s the charity?
Girl #1: I don’t know, some kind of dystrophy.

–In front of the Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Frances E. Flynn

Chick #1: Yeah, she totally called her a slut.
Chick #2: No way! Wow!
Chick #1: Yeah, she did.
Chick #2: Wow, that’s rough… well, actually, she is kind of a slut. I guess it’s not really an insult if it’s true.

–Sarabeth’s Restaurant, 92nd & Madison

Overheard by: Dan

Lady #1: So, apparently my son was over at Jessie’s house, and they were ‘touching.’
Lady #2, reminiscing: Oh, the petting…
Lady #1: I know, what a tramp! So anyway, Jessie’s mom was concerned about it, but I told my son, ‘Damn, you go boy!’

–Wall St

Overheard by: also likes the petting

Woman: Oh, I gotta defrost my breast milk!
Lady friend: There’s something everyone doesn’t want to overhear…

–80th & West End

Overheard by: Nikki… so did not want to overhear that

UWS woman #1: The vineyard was amazing.
UWS woman #2: Word.

–92nd & Broadway

Overheard by: n69n

Woman #1: Are his balls brown?
Woman #2: No, they’re light like mine.

–The Village

Overheard by: Amy