Ladies who lunch

Lady #1: Oooh… These cups are so cute!
Lady #2: Did you notice they have them set out on the drive-through window? Very smart. All the husbands who forgot to buy presents for their wives will be bringing home Starbucks mugs today.
Lady #1: After 21 years of marriage, I buy my own gifts.

Overheard by: erin

Loud woman to friend: So, I’m seeing all these people with waistband numbers in the triple digits, and I wonder how they stay in such a shape, y’know?

Norwood, Massachusetts

Woman #1: So, how’s it going with you and Dave?
Woman #2: Good! He told me that he loved me!
Woman #1: Really?
Woman #2: Well, yeah, but I’m not looking too far into it because he said it when I had his entire dick in my mouth.

Tim Horton’s
Buffalo, New York

Lady #1: I tell you what, I just love that Kelly Ripa.
Lady #2: Oh my god, I know! She’s so tiny!
Lady #1: And tan! She must work out every day!
Lady #2: No, she probably just pukes.

Austin, Texas

Middle aged woman to another: It’s not the hot flashes that are so bad… It’s the depression.

Ft. Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: always listening

Lady to another: I can’t believe it! He’s actually getting married! I mean, now he’ll have to do normal things like eat and bathe.

Lady in coffee shop: So then he went to the Parkinson's Society conference and served soup.


Woman #1: Yeah, well, she’s really not friends with him anymore. You know, since he held that knife up to her throat?
Woman #2: Yeah.

Thorold, Ontario

Woman #1: Motherfucker knew I was wearin’ a thong.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker knew my booty was shakin’.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker did nothin’.

The Loop
St. Louis, Missouri

Lady who lunches to friend: He's very smart, but he's not ruthless.

Westport, Connecticut