Ladies Who Lunch

Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.

–Madison Avenue

Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.

–E train

Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.

–Small diner, Chinatown

Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Gigi

Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.

–Rue 57, 57th & 6th

Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!

–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?

Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

Woman #1: I wish he would do me like that more often.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: So I wouldn’t have to cheat on him anymore.

–40th & Park

Lady #1: That new arm implant birth control is so weird.
Lady #2: What’s so weird about it?
Lady #1: I don’t know — it just sits there inside you and doesn’t go away.
Lady #2: How is that any different from that IUD thing that sits in your uterus?
Lady #1: It is different! Things to up and down in your uterus.

–39th & 6th

Very loud woman: You ain’t gonna believe the shit that bitch said to me.
Friend: Who? Your friend?
Very loud woman: Yeah, that bitch, my friend. She ain’t my friend.
Friend: What she say?
Very loud woman: She say, ‘Oh, girl, I ain’t seen you in a long time — like weeks! You look so swollen! Why you so swollen?’ I was like, ‘Bitch, I ain’t swollen, I’m fat. Why you dissin’ me?’

–Starbucks, St. Mark’s

Woman #1: … So he’ll go to the one in Mexico, and I’ll go to the one in Greece.
Woman #2: Yeah, I don’t think I’ve been to a destination wedding yet.

–45th & Madison

Woman #1: You know that wasn’t a real woman, right?
Woman #2: I don’t know, I don’t know. I gotta ask my husband. He’ll know.

–23rd & 3rd

Woman #1: My husband smells his socks when he takes them off. Every time. Is that weird?
Woman #2: At least he doesn’t demand anal sex and then go cry in the bathroom.

–PATH train

Overheard by: Just listening

Woman #1: Oh my god! You see that bum over there? I had sex with him in 1987!
Woman #2: Was he good?

–Times Square

Overheard by: SEDRICH

Woman: That’s a nice shirt!
Friend: Thanks! I never wear shirts — I think I’ll start wearing them more often!

–Restaurant, Gramercy