30-ish lady #1: Did you talk to your therapist about bedbugs?
30-ish lady #2: I only talk to my therapist about bedbugs.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: K
30-ish lady #1: Did you talk to your therapist about bedbugs?
30-ish lady #2: I only talk to my therapist about bedbugs.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: K
Woman #1: How old do you think I am?
Woman #2: I don’t know…
Woman #1: I’m 46.
Woman #2: 46? Really? You look so young!
Woman #1: That’s Jesus.
–Fresco Tortilla, 52nd & 9th
Old lady #1: Well, we had already put ten thousand in the bank, so the Feds didn’t get ahold of that, thank God.
Old lady #2: Oh, good. Will that cover the cost of the lawyer?
Old lady #1: His Highness doesn’t want one.
–Veselka, 9th & 2nd
Overheard by: Cpt. Kate
American lady: I saw you trying to get ahead of me.
Russian lady: No, no I didn’t.
American lady: Oh yes, you did. You were trying to pull that Russian two-step on me!
–Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Woman #1: You know, when I remember my childhood, I realize that my family was really complicated; my father and uncle were always fighting… Actually, my uncle tried to shoot my father once –
Woman #2: Wait, what?
Woman #1: Listen, that’s not the complicated part.
–Westside Brewery, Upper West Side
Overheard by: vitupera
Rich mommy: Daddy works in money. Money is very important. Money buys ice cream cones and sandals.
Little girl: [Nods.]
–73rd & Amsterdam
Spinster #1: How do they pronounce it in French ‘Oh Bow Pain’?
Spinster #2: Well, it is French and you pronounce ‘Au Bon Pain’.
Spinster #1: I don’t know French; I’m Spanish.
–Au Bon Pain, Union Square
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.
–Madison Avenue
Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Woman #1: I wish he would do me like that more often.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: So I wouldn’t have to cheat on him anymore.
–40th & Park
