Girl #1: So you have a hot gyno?
Girl #2: No, he’s just my regular doctor.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: Yeah.
–Art Bar, 8th Avenue
Girl #1: So you have a hot gyno?
Girl #2: No, he’s just my regular doctor.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: Yeah.
–Art Bar, 8th Avenue
Fashionista: …he was amazing! It’s so rare to find a man familiar with Dr. Hauschka’s.
Queer: You’re in Chelsea, hon.
–18th St. bet. 7th & 8th
Overheard by: alicia
Woman on cell: I liked it, but I didn’t understand some things. Like, when you learned she was a whore. Where would you learn that? In the conversation with your mother? Why would she tell you something like that?…Oh, yeah. Now I understand. No, I liked it a lot.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Slave2theMan
Chick: So, I’m smart, right? I mean, I consider myself smarter than the average woman. So I go to this interview, and they give me this test, a long test like the SATs. And I’m drunk. So I get a call later, “Sorry, you didn’t do as well as we’d hoped.”
–F train
A scruffy guy is on his cell in an otherwise silent internet cafe. His thoughts: No…it’s not in the heart of the city…it’s like the artery.
You remember that postcard of New York I sent you for your birthday? I think you can see my building if you look closely…well you know the best pictures of it are in books, and I love you guys, you’re my family, but I’m not about to spend $15 on one of those books.
Yeah…I came up with this great analogy yesterday. I said, “If you know little math problems and little words, you’ll make a little money, but if you know big problems and big words, you get lotsa money!…I know, I know, I think they got it!
Yeah, well you know 80% of the people I work with are spanish…its not like that in Spokane…so everything here revolves around them…but you know what? The other day one of the girls came up to me and said, “Everyone thinks you’re such a nice guy”. That was so nice; I wasn’t even trying…I didn’t know they thought that…see I apply all the stuff you taught me and incorporate it into my lifestyle.
–Internet cafe, E. 33rd between 5th and Madison
Drunk tourist flirt: It was verrry nice meeting you all, and I hope to see you all again real soon! [Shakes hands with local teens, then leaves.]Local teen, to friends: Yo, she wanna fuck e’rybody!
–4 train
Overheard by: Not Me
Headline by: VeggieGirl
Runners-Up:
· “As If We Need to Import That or Something” – gib
· “I Went to NY and All I Got Was Bukkake” – Ken H.
· “Reader Survey: Britney, Paris, or Lindsey? Vote Now!” – Fleetline
· “She Ran Out Of Folks to Fuck Back in Iowa.” – Redneck Jedi
· “Southern Hospitality Is the Shizzle” – The Heiress
Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.
–Crowded 6 Train
Overheard by: ear hustler
Guy #1: Wow, [title of show] was awesome. I thought it was super inspirational.
Guy #2: Yeah, the girl-on-girl action was pretty sweet.
Guy #1: And they even had four chairs and a keyboard. How much better does it get?
–Times Square
Overheard by: WonderWoman
Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.
–R train, Court St
Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!
–TGIFriday, 42nd St
Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.
–Crowded F train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.
–A train
Overheard by: Joseph
Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’
–R train
Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.
–4th & Lafayette
Guy #1: Hey, what did you do this weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I bought a crock pot.
Guy #1: Awesome.
–80 Hansen Pl, Brookyln
