Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!
–Bayview Place, Staten Island
Overheard by: now I want a mental shower
Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!
–Bayview Place, Staten Island
Overheard by: now I want a mental shower
Blonde in convertible: Hey, cutie!
Suit: (turns around briefly, keeps walking)
Blonde: Hey! With the nice ass, we were talking to you!
Suit, walking back to convertible: Yes?
Blonde: My friend here thinks you're cute and wants your number.
Suit: Uh… I'm flattered, but I have a fiancee, so I'll pass.
Brunette driver: I didn't ask if you were single, I said you had a nice ass and I want your number.
Suit: Again, thanks, but no.
Brunette: How about I give you mine?
Blonde: You know, for when the marriage doesn't work out.
Suit: Yeah, no. But you girls have a great day.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
Remote control car vendor #1, to hot chick passerby: Hey, baby, I got a pretty girl discount!
Remote control car vendor #2: Yeah, I’m giving out free babies. Free babies!
–181st & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh H
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.
–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St
Overheard by: Ian
LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.
Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Swanny
Hipster girl: ‘Flushing Queens’ would be a great name for a man.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Beautiful Barnard Woman
Drunk dude watching girl rip the shirt off a guy: What, no blood? Queens is lame.
–Shea Stadium
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Prepare to be blown away by the majesty of Queens!
–E train platform, Penn Station
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound A train.
–Brooklyn-bound A train
Overheard by: Maggie
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound… No, Manhattan-bound… No, Queens… Wait, hang on. This is a Manhattan-bound E train. Next stop: 53rd and Lex… Shit.
–Manhattan-bound E train, 53rd & Lex
Announcement over the subway: This is not the Queens-bound E train. [Half the train empties] This is the Queens-bound E train.
–E train, Penn Station
Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.
–Elevator, McCann Erickson office
Girl with petition: You look like a nice guy!
Suit: You’re fucking right I am! [Keeps walking.]
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Pierre Fresnay
Guy: I had to yell at her and tell her that she couldn’t be pregnant — I mean, dude, that was last week.
–St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Preggers to male friend: And that asshole came up and body-slammed me on the train platform! Of course, everyone was looking at me like I’m the animal. How can you body-slam a woman who’s seven months pregnant and not feel bad?
–D train
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preggers to lady pushing to get to cupcake table: Lady, I am four months pregnant. Getting between me and those cupcakes is a really, really good way to lose an arm.
–Magnolia Bakery
Snotty actress: Oh my gosh, she is such a good writer for my acting type. Her script is so like, like — pregnant with promise.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl on phone: No, I can’t have sex with you. Because then if I got pregnant I’d have to be like, ‘Whose baby is it? Well, let’s see — is it black, white, brown…?’
–Grand Central Station
British mother to young son: Do you know what I had to eat when I was pregnant with you, Bill? Buns! Buns! Buns! Buns! That’s why you’re mad about buns. [To daughter] And that’s why you like brown things.
–Varick & King St
Young woman to friends: And she keeps getting pregnant, and I’m like, ‘Stop it, woman!’
–Columbia campus
Overheard by: Cheney
