American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
Chinese boy: What street is this? Onion Street?
–N train, Union Street station
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Flutetard: Does anyone have any requests?
Teen boy: You know Attack of the Bumblebees?
Flutetard: Uh? Attack of the Bumblebees? Yes. No. You mean Flight of the Bumblebee?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Flutetard: No, I need the sheet music. It’s Russian.
–outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Damian Kelly
Queer: Did she know she was going to be naked for the photo shoot?
Anorexia: Yeah, I even told her in German.
–26th & 5th
Black girl #1: Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Black girl #2: Respond as soon as possible?
Black girl #1: No, stupid it’s r.s.v.p.. It stands for repond s’il vous plait, it’s French.
Black girl #2: Spell it!
Black girl #1: R-e-s-p-o-n-d c-i v-u p-l-a-y. Don’t you know anything.
–4 train
Bus driver: The stop after this will be the next one. We should be arriving in a week to ten days.
–M42 bus
Overheard by: Dan Alcalde
Transit cop: I guess I’ll pretend to do something here.
–Queens Plaza station
Conductor: Passengers, please do not use your valuables, or your child, to stop the train doors from closing!
–1 train
Black guy: I got me a ghetto Gold Card, son. It’ll get you on the train, it’ll get you on the bus.
–A train
Overheard by: Timothy C
Loudspeaker: Would anyone that speaks Chinese please report to the Amtrak Information booth in the center of the Terminal? Anyone that speaks Chinese.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: P. Mills
Chick: The cabdriver wouldn’t let us leave the cab unless I showed him
my tits. That is so my away message tomorrow!
–LIRR train
Overheard by: Steve Carbo
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the delay in landing the aircraft, but the air traffic controller here at LaGuardia is an angry, bitter man.
–over LaGuardia
Overheard by: Dana Clair
Fat black woman: Hey, watch where you’re going! Say “excuse me” instead of bumping into me like that. Don’t you know how to speak English?
Japanese girl: You need a diet!
–Penn station
Overheard by: JL
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
Businessman: She said there’s an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.
–Midtown office
