Next Wednesday One-liners

Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Cole

Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.

–22nd between 7th & 8th

Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.

–Times Square

Overheard by: seth scott barkley

Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?

–7th & Grove

Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.

–W Hotel bar, Union Square

Overheard by: Somebody nowhere

Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.

–Bond & Lafayette

Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.

–Barrage, West 47th Street

Overheard by: Nick Salvato

Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!

–Madison & 52nd

Posted on January 12, 2026
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, BJs, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Junk Food & Fast Food, Language Barrier, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Porn, Queer guys, Suits, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Virginity, West Village

Wednesday One-liners Get on the 6

Hipster: I have so many friends in their 20s who are still virgins! Is “virgin” the new pink?

–6 train

Hobo: Listen up! I’m not here to beg or ask for money. I’m here to tell you that a flashlight like this one could save your life. There are no promises! Be prepared! Always carry a flashlight and water!

–6 train

Girlfriend: …and no more talking about economics when you are inside of me…

–6 train

Overheard by: A

Posted on July 21, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Hipsters, Hobos, On the Subway, Sex, Virginity

Revealed: The Nexus of All Horrifying Conversation

Homey #1: Yo, hold up…Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.

–L Train, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: Brian McCaffrey

Thug: Damn! You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots. I saw two brothers holding hands on the train the other day. It’s like they were coming out of the closet on the train!
Thugette: There ain’t no closet on the train.

–L Train, 8th Avenue

Posted on August 21, 2023
Backdoor, BJs, Body Parts, Gays and Lesbians, Jesus, On the Subway, Stupidity, Virginity, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Worst Diaphragm Ever

Girl #1: I lost a contact lens. I’m like a cyclops.
Girl #2: I lost my virginity wearing only one contact.

–F train

Posted on November 20, 2022
Girls, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Virginity

Well, That Was 20 Seconds of Reading Time We’ll Never Get Back

Hot chick on cell: Yeah, no… Like, I’m pretty convinced that Patrick* is, like, totally gay. Well, because when we, like, dated, he would always want to go shopping and take, like, the longest time, like always studying how tight jeans made his ass look. And, like, he told me how his best friend ended up being, like, uber-gay, and like, he would always say, like, random shit like, ‘Y’know, like, people you don’t even, like, know could be gay.’ I’d be like, ‘O-M-G — what?!’ And, like, the entire time we went out, we only had sex, like, once, and that was when I, like, lost my virginity… No, I didn’t consider it the official, like, time I actually lost my V-card because he couldn’t even, like, get it up… No, we were not drunk! I’m not like that big of a slut… Or at least, I wasn’t then.

–Chelsea

Posted on May 4, 2020
Bimbettes, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gossip, On Cell, Virginity

Ugly Girls, Represent!

Sixth grader: Yo! Miss Stevens*, how old are you?
Student teacher: 20.
Sixth grader: Are you a virgin?
Student teacher: I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.
Sixth grader: Aight. It’s okay. I’m a virgin, too.

–University Neighborhood Middle School

Overheard by: teacher

Posted on February 7, 2020
School, Students, Teachers/Professors, Virginity

Clark Kent cum Superman!

Hipster: That’s the phone booth where I lost my virginity!

— Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Posted on December 1, 2019
Hipsters, Virginity, Williamsburg

Yet Another Drawback of Abstinence-Only Education

White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.

–MetroTech, Lawrence St

Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan