Giving Old Meaning to the Term “Sophomore”

Professor: Does anyone know the significance of Plato?
Girl #1: Wasn’t he a writer?
Girl #2: No, that was Plateau.

–LaGuardia Community College

Posted on June 24, 2025
College, Philosophy, Queens, Students, Stupidity

We Never Snorted Candy at Stuyvesant

Bronx Science boy: I have pixie sticks.
Bronx Science girl: I love pixie sticks. Have you ever tried to snort them?
Bronx Science boy: Yeah, once I snorted a lot because I wanted to get high and my nose started gushing blood.

–1/9 train

Overheard by: chella

Posted on June 9, 2025
Bronx Science, Junk Food & Fast Food, On the Subway, Straight Trippin', Students

Ironically, He Made It Into a Soapbox

Juilliard guy: Why does everyone at Juilliard have to be so deep? I mean, we’re in class and the professor puts a box in the middle of the room and everyone starts in, “Oh, that represents my soul!” or “Oh, that is the heavens opening up to take me in!” No man, that’s just a damn box! All that represents to me is a damn box. Everyone needs to get over themselves at this damn school…

–Juilliard elevator

Posted on May 29, 2025
Education, Elevators, School and studying, Students

Anything Gets You Hard at That Age

JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Gus Colletti

Posted on April 24, 2025
Boys, Girls, Park Slope, Penis, Students, Threats

That, and His Advanced HIV

Nursing student #1: That wouldn’t happen to him. He’s not like that. His blood isn’t bad or anything.
Nursing student #2: No, his blood is fine.
Nursing student #1: The only thing bad about his blood is that he’s a man.

–NYU bathroom

Posted on March 26, 2025
Blood & bleeding, NYU, Stall Spies, Students

Take That, Ernst Rohm!

Chick #1: She’s also doing her research project on fag thugs.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Like, gay people who are thugs.
Chick #2: They have those?
Chick #1: Apparently.

–Pratt