HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
Student: It’s not computers that’s fucking you up, it’s General Hospital.
–Pratt dorm, Willoughby Avenue
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Girl, 7: Sometimes, I wonder: who really did kill Kenny?
–M79 bus
Chick: When I first got here from Jersey, I thought I’d let it all out, live my own life, but I quickly realized that was a bad idea.
–Blue Ribbon Sushi, Soho
Overheard by: Abby
Law Student: The Nation is too conservative for her.
–Fordham Law
Overheard by: Patrick Smith
Girl: So then I asked everyone, “Who’s ever had anal?” and then he turned around…
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: Cattle? Who said anything about cattle? Now chickens…they’re fun to molest sometimes.
–Fort Greene
Girl high school senior: He's so very uncomfortable that he makes everyone else uncomfortable with his discomfortability.
Boy high school senior: He's very in possession of his femininity.
Girl high school senior: You have no idea how much time he's spent crying to me about that. “Everyone thinks I'm gay. I don't know what I am. No, I'm not gay! Definitely not!”
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Loud chick, on coming out of the closet: I have a lot of gay guy friends, and they all went through the same thing. Well, almost the same — ‘I’m different,’ then, ‘I’m bisexual,’ then, ‘I only like Asian women,’ then, finally, ‘I’m gay!’
Asian classmate: So, we’re the last pit stop before gay, now?
–Maimonides Hospital, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ace Montana
HS girl #1: God, I hate English. It’s so hard!
HS girl #2: Yeah, I just don’t get this whole verb/noun thing.
–Starbucks, 94th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dunkee Hotay
Grad student girl: How did your work go today?
Grad student guy: Pretty good. I took some Adderall. God, it helps–it's like crack.
Grad student girl: Oh my god! Really? I'll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad student guy: Damn straight you will.
–Fish Bar, East Village
Overheard by: John-John
NYU girl #1 to NYU girl #2, behind hipster: Damn, is your back sweaty!
Hipster: Hey, don't make fun of my glisten!
–Washington Square Park
College girl #1: So you’re saying that if you didn’t meet her at such a vulnerable time in your life, you wouldn’t be a lesbian?
College girl #2: Right.
–LIRR
Overheard by: kdavs
