Professor: What is significant about the character’s reaction?
Chick: Well, you can tell he’s scared because he’s really pale.
Professor: …what do you mean, he’s pale? It’s a black and white film, they’re all pale.
–New School film class
Professor: What is significant about the character’s reaction?
Chick: Well, you can tell he’s scared because he’s really pale.
Professor: …what do you mean, he’s pale? It’s a black and white film, they’re all pale.
–New School film class
Queer: As my grandmother used to say, you’ve got one fuckable ass.
–Marie’s Crisis, Grove Street
Overheard by: catherine
Hobo: How you doin’? How you doin’? I’m doin’ good. Yeah, you know I’m doin’ good, cause I’m lookin’ good! And you know why I look good? ’cause I clean mah ass!
–1 train
Overheard by: Alex Valentine
NYU chick: All this work is going to fuck me in the ass so much my boyfriend won’t be able to.
–Silver Building, Waverly Place
Chick: I can’t believe how much he charged me for this disposable camera. I was like, “Why don’t you fuck me up the ass while you’re at it?”
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Black guy: Damn, it smells like open ass around here.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Daniel
Professor: Does anyone know the significance of Plato?
Girl #1: Wasn’t he a writer?
Girl #2: No, that was Plateau.
–LaGuardia Community College
Bronx Science boy: I have pixie sticks.
Bronx Science girl: I love pixie sticks. Have you ever tried to snort them?
Bronx Science boy: Yeah, once I snorted a lot because I wanted to get high and my nose started gushing blood.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: chella
Juilliard guy: Why does everyone at Juilliard have to be so deep? I mean, we’re in class and the professor puts a box in the middle of the room and everyone starts in, “Oh, that represents my soul!” or “Oh, that is the heavens opening up to take me in!” No man, that’s just a damn box! All that represents to me is a damn box. Everyone needs to get over themselves at this damn school…
–Juilliard elevator
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Nursing student #1: That wouldn’t happen to him. He’s not like that. His blood isn’t bad or anything.
Nursing student #2: No, his blood is fine.
Nursing student #1: The only thing bad about his blood is that he’s a man.
–NYU bathroom
Chick #1: She’s also doing her research project on fag thugs.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Like, gay people who are thugs.
Chick #2: They have those?
Chick #1: Apparently.
–Pratt
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
Student: It’s not computers that’s fucking you up, it’s General Hospital.
–Pratt dorm, Willoughby Avenue
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Girl, 7: Sometimes, I wonder: who really did kill Kenny?
–M79 bus
