Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!
Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado
Burly male college student: I don't want to put my bare feet somewhere where someone's already put their bare feet.
Murray State University
Kentucky
30-something male student to teacher: I keep having sex with these girls, and I go for 30 minutes… or sometimes and hour. They don't come. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with them?
Female professor, confidently: It sounds like you're rubbing 'em raw!
Community College
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don't like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don't just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
College freshman: I keep making plans for my funeral, and they keep getting better!
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Anne
History teacher, reading from worksheet: ‘The Constitution places restrictions on the powers of the states. Name one.’
Student: Maryland?
Cresson, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Teacher, handing out candy to class: They're really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That's the best part.
High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Katie
