Jewish girl: I think I like Josh. What do you think of him?
Jewish guy: I don’t like him. He’s annoying. And he’s a Jew.
Jewish girl: What do you mean ‘And he’s a Jew’? You’re a Jew!
Jewish guy: No.
Jewish girl: Yes…
Jewish guy: No, I quit.

Santa Cruz, California

Woman: Did you hear about the lawyer in England who wouldn’t take a Muslim woman as a client because she wore a burkha and the lawyer said she couldn’t hear her?! [Holds piece of paper over her mouth] Hello! You can still hear me, right?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Woman: I can’t believe this! They have that happen, but when a kid dressed up as a pirate and the school kicked him out he said he was a Pastafarian and they let him back in.
Boyfriend: Pastafarian?
Woman: You know, flying spaghetti monster as God, pirates are sacred…
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.

League City, Texas

Overheard by: JustWantsCoffee

Physics professor: Hey! Listen up! I’m tired of some of you walking out or ignoring me when we talk about the Big Bang Theory. I’m not telling you God doesn’t exist, so don’t get your panties in a bunch! You! Sit down! Let me finish!

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Nine-year-old girl, planning game: So he’ll be the priest, and you can be the wet nurse.

Mount Vernon, New York

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl #1: I’m Jewish.
Girl #2: I’m Catholic.
Girl #3: I’m Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.

Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia

Overheard by: Amused Counselor

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.

Overheard by: burrhead

Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?

Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jigawhat

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he's like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I'm Jewish