Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that's cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain't gonna beat her.
–Union Square, ASPCA Day
Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.
Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.
–Central Park
Overheard by: sarah
Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Date Rape
Smooth operator: Don’t worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.
–Subway
Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.
–51st St & Broadway
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… and viagra…
–Union Square, uptown 6 train
Guy: Dude, I can’t get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.
–Outside Columbia dorm
Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I’m going to the wine bar.
–68th St & York
Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b-o-n-g.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
Man in light green suit with orange-red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don't smoke that Scooby Doobie Doo. Don't get high tonight!
–125th & Lenox
Overheard by: Plausible
Young hipster: So I said, "Mom, did you smoke with me?"
–Central Park Reservoir
Angry girlfriend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don't want me smoking pot, you don't want me smoking cigarettes or cloves, you don't want me chewing gum and now you don't like lollipops? So tell me, Peter, what can I put in my mouth that's okay with you?
–L Train
Overheard by: It's me, bitches.
Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot dealer, because the stuff you're smoking is really good.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: me too
Guy talking on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 minutes. (pause) Yeah, I'm serious! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don't you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it until you can't see anymore and then I'll be there. Alright? Bye.
–8th Ave & 27th St
Overheard by: Erica Friedman
Girl: I mean honestly, who at NYU doesn't smell like weed?
–Washington Square Park
Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What's he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I'm on tv! (manic laugh)
–B64 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Guy #1: Have you been hitting the grass again?
Guy #2: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be orange?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Jerry
Hippie to doorman: I know this is a weird question, but is there an office in this building called “Planet Hemp”?
Doorman: Nah man, sorry. (under his breath, as hippie turns and walks away) I fucking wish there was.
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Wanna get High?
Young NYU girl #1: That was the closest thing to getting stoned I've ever done without actually smoking pot.
Young NYU girl #2: Yeah, totes.
–Union Square
Girl, talking loudly on cell: Oh my God! I can’t wait ’til I get home to smoke a blunt. No, seriously, I can’t wait!
Young child in front of her: Mommy, what’s a blunt?
–Arrival flight, LaGuardia Tarmac
Overheard by: No you didn’t!
Guy: Wow, I just realized something. Smell that. Manhattan really smells like Froot Loops.
Girl: Really? [She sniffs.]Guy: Yeah. Damn, I gotta lay off the Froot Loops.
Girl: No, Mike, you gotta lay off the pot.
–8th & West 55th
Overheard by: Roger
Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That's how scared he was.
–107th & Broadway
Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that's totally worse than them biting you.
–Majestic Theater
Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.
–10th Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Todd Fletcher
Girl on cell: No, you can't go! I'm too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.
–Supermarket, Astoria
Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Alex
