Stoners

Girl #1: You know, if you think all songs are sung by a penis, they suddenly become funny.
Girl #2: You are high, you know that?

–91st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: SexyJewThang

Third baseman: What’s so funny?
Benched teammate: I’m high, retard. Everything’s fuckin’ funny.

–145th & Lenox Avenue softball field

Hobo #1: Check this out.

He spits something across the car.

Hobo #2: What was that?
Hobo #1: Tooth.
Hobo #2: Nice, nice.

–F train

A junkie hobo walks directly into the store’s window, almost breaking his nose. Seeing this, his homeless buddy responds, rather outraged: Again?!

–Dunkin Donuts, 23rd St. between Broadway & Park

Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool

Stoner: What do you have ready?
Cashier: Chicken.
Stoner: What kind of chicken?
Cashier: It’s called fried chicken.

–Palace Fried Chicken

Overheard by: Brian

Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What's he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I'm on tv! (manic laugh)

–B64 Bus

Overheard by: Ben

Stoner: How do you spell “helter skelter”?
Friend: …exactly like it sounds.
Stoner: H-e-l-k-e-t-o-r s-k-e-l-e-t-o-r?
Friend: (shakes head in dismay)

–N Train

New wave boy: You're like Lou Reed with a vagina.
New wave girl: Since when did he not have one?
Random stoner friend: Hey, do you want to get Indian food!?
New wave girl: What would Lou Reed do?

–2nd Ave &14th

Overheard by: Mischa

Teen girl #1: Well, what’s more important right now? Going to the movies or getting stoned?
Teen girl #2: God, I don’t know…It’s ten dollars either way.

–Columbus Circle station

Overheard by: djlindee

Stoned hipster girl #1: Have you looked at your chest recently?
Stoned hipster girl #2: Have you looked at your tortilla? It looks like you smeared it with shit.

–93rd & Broadway

Stoner #1: I’m drunk. And I am high.
Stoner #2: I know you are. But… what am I?
Both stoners: Whoa.

–Bleecker & Thompson