Girl: Okay, so how many of the people here do you think have noticed that we’re high?
Guy: Mmmm, five of them.
Girl: There are only five people in the store.
Guy: Then… All of them.
–Lafayette
Girl: Okay, so how many of the people here do you think have noticed that we’re high?
Guy: Mmmm, five of them.
Girl: There are only five people in the store.
Guy: Then… All of them.
–Lafayette
Stoner dude #1: Which way is it?
Stoner dude #2: Hold on. Hold on! I need to grapple with the political implications of this pickle.
–Canal & Bowery
Guy: But you haven’t been doing drugs?
Girl: No…Well, not really; I’m not sure what sucking off a drug addict counts for.
–Butler Library, West 114th Street
Dude: … So she smoked some pot and said, ‘This isn’t working. I need to shoot some heroin.’
–26th St & 8th Ave
Professor: Every good professor smokes marijuana.
–John Jay College
Overheard by: soccerking3t
Fat guy: Hey, I just finished running the marathon — let’s call Jeff and go get high!
–12th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: off white
Young pothead: Hey, lady, could you spare some change to help support my marijuana habit?
–Borough Hall Park, Staten Island
Future teacher: I think we should let the kids smoke pot everyday after lunch… You know, just for kindergarten.
–Spruce St & Gold St
Overheard by: Kim
Chick on cell: For some reason that reminds me of The Bell Jar. But probably, I’m just still high.
–West 4th St & Greene
Bike messenger screaming to another: That’s why I love you. Because you support my drug habit!
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Five-year-old with mother: I’m gonna get get get you hiiiigghh!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: evanescent
Mom to three-year-old daughter: Sit up! Sit up! Are you on crack?
–2 train, the Bronx
Overheard by: MK
Professor: I remember this one acid trip…
–NYU, Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Stoner dude: I get high to get high. I don’t expect much, but it passes time and it kills hangovers.
–17th & 8th
Overheard by: Lara
Thugette on pimped-out cell: Honey, I told yo’ ass before, I’ll tell you again: once a nigga puts rims on his Fed-Ex truck, you know he’s a drug dealer
–36th Ave station, Astoria
Overheard by: Akojam Milas
Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: “If I were a boy…” Who sings that?
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #2: Think it's Beyonce.
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: That has a negative connotation, it should be: “if I were a girl…”
–Uptown 6 Train
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.
–G Train
Scene girl: Can I call the cab this time?
Stoner boyfriend: No.
Scene girl: Why not?
Stoner boyfriend: Because every time you do, you get in and scream “is this Cash Cab?!” Bitch, you're never gonna meet Ben Bailey.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: HerDreamsWereCrushed
Older black man to younger black man: Yeah, cause you don't need to say you're from the Jers to pick up chicks, they ain't like that here, son. I mean, if she's mad hot then you can clue her in that you're from Jersey, but only if you think she can appreciate your flow…
–Lafayette & St. James
Frat boy crossing street: Butthole in New Jersey.
–Flatbush Ave & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Stoned-looking teen to friend: Are you from New Jersey? Maybe you told me, but I can just, like, sense it…
–Union Square
Overheard by: wgoddessw
Guy to friend: Yeah, man, I was watching that show Jersey Shore the other night… Makes me glad I live on Long Island.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Fistpump like a champ
Stressed film major: You are going to give me that fucking power chord. Then I'm going to punch you in the vag. Then you're coming to New Jersey with me.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee