Stoner #1 reading Hustler: Hey… Hey, man, check this out — I… like… it… when… my… boyfriend? … And… I… do… it… in… the… Oh, bathroom!
Stoner #2: You alright man?
Stoner #1: I can’t read… or… something.
Stoner #2: I never read Hustler. There’s no point, man. Right?
Stoner #1: I have no idea, but it’s hot.
Stoner #2: You wanna get some weed?
Stoner #1: Is there weed in [reads screen] … Ronkork? Rangenkem? Bombonkama? Uh…
Stoner #2: Ronkonkoma?
Stoner #1: Yeah!
–Penn Station
Guy: Wow, I just realized something. Smell that. Manhattan really smells like Froot Loops.
Girl: Really? [She sniffs.]Guy: Yeah. Damn, I gotta lay off the Froot Loops.
Girl: No, Mike, you gotta lay off the pot.
–8th & West 55th
Overheard by: Roger
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
Stoner #1: Yo, I’m Superman.
Stoner #2: If you’re Superman, I’m Superman too.
Stoner #1: How the hell can you be Superman?
Stoner #2: I’ll show you later!
–14th St., Union Square
Overheard by: Supacat
[“Umbrella” by rihanna is being loudly played.]Stoned gay guy: Oh my god, I love this song. This is totally what you hear before you start shooting kids in the projects.
Gay guy: Uh, excuse me?
Stoned gay guy: Yeah. You know, it’s like your pump-up jam.
–E 10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Dying of laughter
Vendor: Crackerjacks! Crackerjacks!
Very drunk woman: Crackerjacks?! What about LSD??
–Keyspan Park, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jamie
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?
–Subway Platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Poogtastic
Loudspeaker dispatcher lady: Hey you! Uptown number 5! You better stop sticking your head out the window and answer me on the radio!
–Uptown 4,5,6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Elegant gentleman, as train starts to depart station: Oh, I didn't realize the train was going to move.
–Crowded Uptown 1 Train
MTA announcement: The uptown 1 train is running.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krisztina
Dispatcher: The arriving train will be the next train. The arriving train will be the next train.
–G Train, Court Square
Overheard by: Katrink
Old man: I'm coming, train. I'm coming. I'm coming, train, you son of a bitch bastard!
–6 Train
Guy: I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette!
Barista chick: Yeah, well I need a blunt but I can’t get one right now!
–Starbucks, 95th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro
Well-dressed woman to passerby: Excuse me. Which way is up?
–53rd & Madison
Overheard by: Kitsune
Stoned guy: I think I thought I had a thought in my head…but I was wrong.
–74th S & Colonial Rd, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Stoner #1: So this fucking idiot was like, “Communism is the way, comrade.” And I was like, “Okay then, give me your shirt.” And he was like, “What, man?” And I was like, “If everything’s fifty-fifty, let’s just switch shirts for the day.”
Stoner #2: What’d he say then?
Stoner #1: He was like, “You got me, comrade. I need to think this one over.” And I was like, “Fuck yeah, you communist fuck.” Yeah, I told that guy all right.
–Bus to Port Authority
Overheard by: Cary Gitter
