Friends

Guy #1: So, you really know those chicks in there?
Guy #2: Just the bartender with the big guns.

–Angry Wade’s, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: AD

Girl #1: If she moves into your kitchen and her boyfriend visits, you are gonna overhear them fucking.
Girl #2: Uh-uh. I’m puttin’ the kibosh on that.
Girl #1: You can’t tell them they can’t have sex in her own room where she pays rent!
Girl #2: I don’t want to hear no sex…unless it’s on the porn. Or me. Or two men.

–International Bar, 1st Avenue

Overheard by: Nicole A.

Guy #1: You know, like the velvet tracksuits that everyone’s dads wore when we were growing up.
Guy #2: We didn’t all grow up on Long Island.

–6th & A

Overheard by: Phenders

Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Karla

In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down.

Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?

–Penn Station men’s room

Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What?

–M66 bus

Overheard by: Gabriella

Woman: Would you let Michael go to the west coast?
Man #1: What?
Man #2: No! You don’t want him to be a freak.
Woman: I didn’t mean Oregon.

–Chipolte, 44th Street

Overheard by: Holly

New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.

–7th & A

Overheard by: saphin

Girl #1: Did you enjoy the show?
Guy: Yeah, it was really good.
Girl #2: Yeah, it was. Also, I didn’t think we’d see so many bums and stuff.

–Richard Rodgers theatre, W. 46th Street

Girl: That’s so scary.
Boy: What?
Girl: The third rail.
Boy: Teah.
Girl: That should be like a movie title or something.
Boy: Third Rail…I should put that in my notebook.

–Trinity School, W. 91st Street

Overheard by: Alexis

Girl #1: I wouldn’t get married in New York, no way.
Girl #2. Me neither.
Girl #1: Out of town somewhere, New Haven, Scarsdale: way better. It’d be ridiculous here. Can you imagine?
Girl #3: Yup, right.
Girl #1: Only if I married for money. If he has money, then it’s a different story. Let’s say, 250k a year. Stockbroker, mortgage investment banker, lawyer surgeon, you know. At least 250 grand, or it might as well be in Boston. And I have to have an au pair, later.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Christopher Lee

Girl #1: Her silicon boobs were, like, oozing out of her eyes.
Girl #2: Weird…

–W train

Overheard by: Jen