Guy #1: Dude, I know this is kinda gay, but I played The Sims last night naked and it was awesome.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s solid. I watch TV naked all the time. Not recently, though. I’ve been studying for my econ midterm constantly, and you can’t be naked in the library.
Guy #1: That sucks, ’cause it’s like…being naked just always feels better.
Guy #2: Totally. Ceteris paribus, I say, “do it naked.”
–Columbia University
Guy #1: What time is it?
Guy #2: One o’clock.
Guy #1: What? How long has it been one?
Guy #2: Less than a minute?
–57th & Lexington
Mom: Hey! If you’re hungry I’ll buy you a hot dog. Don’t bite your brother…Hey! What did I just tell you?
She flicks his ear; he yelps.
Mom: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
–Stop & Shop, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Chris B
A woman gets on the train and begs for money. She is upset that other people ask for money and spend it on the wrong things. She promises she is being sincere and that she isn’t going to spend it on drugs; she needs it to buy food for her 93 day old baby.
Four days later the same woman gets on the train, telling how she is being honest and needs the money to buy food. Only now she claims her baby is 76 days old.
Funny how she’s begging for money, when she should really just sell that time machine.
–Q train
Overheard by: Jill
Guy: Hey man, wanna make some quick money moving some equipment for me?
Hobo: I don’t have time right now.
–30th & 7th
Overheard by: theallegedother
Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
Girl #1: Ooh, if he was black he would have kicked your ass…
Girl #2: Yeah, if he was a nigga you’d be bleeding all over me.
–1 train
Overheard by: Dustin Ragland
Guy #1: I found my old Nintendo yesterday
Guy #2: Yo, remember Game Genie and shit?
Hobo: I had a genie once.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Creighton
Girl #1: Is there a movie version of Catcher in the Rye?
Girl #2: No, but a lot of films based on the concept.
Girl #3: I have always been so attracted to that character.
–M27 bus
Girl #1: So how was France?
Girl #2: Pretty good, although we didn’t go out much. We only went to a restaurant like once.
Girl #1: That’s good.
Girl #2: Yeah, we hardly gave them any opportunities to be rude to us.
–Hunter North Building elevator, East 69th Street
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Girl #1: So, he kept on calling me and calling me and calling me.
Girl #2: Well…what did you do? Did you answer your phone?
Girl #1: Yeah…I answered the phone and said to him, “Thanks for stalking by.” He hung up after that and I haven’t heard from him again.
–Cafeteria, 7th Avenue
Guy: I don’t want to be drunk in front of her.
Girl: What? Why not?
Guy: I don’t want her to see me like that.
Girl: But face down on the floor is really the only way to see you.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: mortimer stackendanch
Guy: You know what I hate about the word onomatopeia? It’s that it’s not an onomatopeia.
Girl: Shut up. Just shut up.
–A train
Overheard by: Okoska
