Girl #1: So, he kept on calling me and calling me and calling me.
Girl #2: Well…what did you do? Did you answer your phone?
Girl #1: Yeah…I answered the phone and said to him, “Thanks for stalking by.” He hung up after that and I haven’t heard from him again.
–Cafeteria, 7th Avenue
Guy: I don’t want to be drunk in front of her.
Girl: What? Why not?
Guy: I don’t want her to see me like that.
Girl: But face down on the floor is really the only way to see you.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: mortimer stackendanch
Guy: You know what I hate about the word onomatopeia? It’s that it’s not an onomatopeia.
Girl: Shut up. Just shut up.
–A train
Overheard by: Okoska
Guy: So you still going to be an elf for Halloween?
Girl: No, actually I’m going to be a fairy, but fairies are part of the elf family.
–6th & B
Girl: I hear more Polish than English in my neighborhood.
Guy: You should write about that.
–The Magician, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Girl: Didn’t you say pubic hair came back in style?
Guy #1: Yes, thank god. I hated the Brazilian wax. Made me feel like a pedophile.
Guy #2: What’s a Brazilian wax?
Girl: It’s when everything goes. Totally bare.
Guy #1: Yeah. Brazilian originally meant “ass wax only.”
Guy #2: And then it became a country?
–West Broadway between Thomas & Duane
Guy: You know that game, Operation–
Girl: Yeah, it’s in your pants!
–Luca Lounge, Avenue B
Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!
–116th Street 1 station
Guy on cell: When you get here I will make you breakfast sausage. And I am not talking euphemistically.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Alison Foster
Chick #1: So, that girl from Japan is paying double rent, right? $1600 on her apartment here, and $1800 on the other apartment where she was living. I asked her how she could afford both places and she told me that her Mom and her sister died in a plane crash.
Chick #2: Holy shit! Which plane crash?
Chick #1: I don’t know, one in Japan.
Chick #2: So she’s rich now, right?
Chick #3: That’s how my friend moved to Miami.
–Williamsburg
