Girl #1: How bad am I? I’m going to have sex tomorrow and then pay a shiva call.
Girl #2: Who cares? You’ve got needs.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Girl #2: Remember when you had a harem?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t have sex with any of them. I just fooled around with them.
–Bleecker Street Bar
Sober girl: Did you know your mother has a penis?
Drunk girl: My mom’s wild!
Sober girl: So did you know?
Drunk girl: It’s great, man, it’s great.
–1 train
Girl #1: I’m tired of these ghetto dudes out here.
Girl #2: I know das right.
Girl #1: Das why I need a nigga in a business suit. I’m tired of
these ghetto dudes out here with they pants hangin’ off they butt, comin’ home 3 in the mornin’ talkin’ ’bout, “Boo, make me a peanut butter and jelly sanwich.” If I had a nigga in a business suit, he’ll get a project girl like me out da hood and make me a 3 course meal!
–3 train
Guy #1: All the hipsters in your neighborhood make me want to puke.
Guy #2: I wouldn’t say that too loud, but yeah, I share your sentiment.
Guy #1: What are they going to do? Cough angrily at me?
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Lemon
Girl: They’re making a musical of Siegfried and Roy’s life.
Guy: Didn’t they do that on Friends already?
Girl: They did?
Guy: Yeah, remember Joey was the singing psychiatrist?
–Wall & Exchange
Girl #1: I wish we coulda seen those magicians with the tigers, but they don’t perform anymore…
Girl #2: You mean Sigmund Freud and Roy?
–Circulo Theater, E. 4th Street
Overheard by: scott cendali
Guy #1: Look! Someone won the megamillion. I can’t believe we didn’t win that money.
Guy #2: I can’t believe we didn’t win those fuckin’ burritos…what the fuck is that?
–Hudson & Charlton
Chick: You know, I don’t believe Victorians shat.
Dude: Neither did they.
Chick: There is no way on Earth that what just came up from my system came up through theirs.
Dude: Surely not with that whole empire they were building.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, Times Square
Chick: So it’s like drinking your own sweat?
Guy: Well, it has salt in it.
–125th & Broadway
Guy #1: I’ll do it, but they’ve got to remember that Sunday is the least rock ‘n roll day of the week.
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: Jeez…I’m not like those guys, hangin’ out with their wives and kids and shit. What do they know about playing? I need to play.
Guy #2: Why don’t you try to break up their families? Ruin their marriages or some shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Spiros Harlequinn
Girl: So I hate both my dad and my stepdad.
Guy: That’s because your mom has shitty taste.
Girl: No, she has good tits!
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: Tony Cacioppo
