Friends

Sad girl: My mom totally jacked my vibrator.
Friend: That sucks! I can lend you mine, if you want.

Queen’s University
Canadia

Sweaty black girl #1, checking self out in mirror: Finally, my upper arms don’t look so arm-y!
Sweaty black girl #2, lifting weights: Yeah, but your coochie still smells all marine.

YMCA
Virginia

Overheard by: jimmycity

Man, giggling: Hey, guys…
Friend: For the last time, Jeff, if it’s about the Hamburglar, we don’t want to hear it.

Galaxy Cinema
Nanaimo, British Columbia
Canadia

Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!

Barnes & Noble
Illinois

16-year-old male in office waiting room, to friend: You can't just solve all your problems by causing a nuclear holocaust, man!

Whatcom Community College
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: littlegirlmonkey

Old woman shopping with friend, picking up jeans: Well, these looked good on George Strait.

Warrenton, Virginia

Friend #1: I just want a Dance Dance Revolution mat that won't skid around on the floor while I dance on it. I am thinking about covering my old one in an unskiddable material.
Friend #2: Well, you could try human skin.
Friend #1: Does it skid?
Friend #2: Only when wet.

Gamestop
Omaha, Nebraska.

Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl to guys talking about their Easter candy: You know, I just want to point out that you’re both 23 and still getting Easter candy from your parents.
Guy #1: Hey, it’s not like I asked for it!
Guy #2: And besides, it’s not from my mom. It’s from the bunny.

PETCO Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Danette