Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Dude #1: Hey, I’ve got some Valium if you want.
Dude #2: Nah, that’s a bad idea right before a show.
Girl: Well, I have some laxatives.
Dude #1: No way, remember what happened last time?
Dude #2: That was a really nice bathroom, though.
–F train
Overheard by: Athena
Girl #1: …So let me get this straight: while we were all sitting there, you watched the guy finger the dog’s ass?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: And what did the dog do?
Girl #2: Nothing. The dog was high.
–Q train
Overheard by: PhilosophyFan
Girl #1: Oh, I totally loaded my pants.
Girl #2: For reals?
Girl #1: Yeah, you gotta come look at this shit.
Girl #2: Wow, what did you eat?
–Manhattan Mall ladies’ room
White girl #1: You know that guy in the purple shirt we were talking to on the train? I think I know him.
White girl #2: Wait, you mean the guy in the black shirt?
White girl #1: No, his shirt was purple…the black guy, y’know?
WHite girl #2: I really think his shirt was black…
White girl #1: Sweetie, that was his face.
–168th Street station
Overheard by: Cheese Monkey
Girl #1: Well…I think it will work out okay…I mean, it’s just so nice and thick.
Girl #2: Well, let me tell you…it’s just the way I was born. I looked at that and I was like, that’s huge! I’m gonna die!
–34th & Park
Overheard by: mariana
Guy: Plutarch was–
Girl: Plutarch can suck my cunt. He was stupid.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jesse Shaver
Guy #1: Hey, what’s up?
Guy #2: Not much.
Guy #1: I heard you went to the hospital or something.
Guy #2: Yeah, I stopped breathing.
–F train
Dude #1: …This girl was so fucking hot. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, “I don’t dance” and I said, “I don’t either.” But she was like, “Sorry, I really don’t dance. I’m not, like, rejecting you or anything.” So I went back towards the stage and kept dancing.
Dude #2: Okay.
Dude #1: Then, after the next song, I went up to her and asked her to dance again and she said no, but she kinda smiled at me like she thought it was cute.
Dude #2: So?
Dude #1: So, after the show, I hung around to try to talk to her.
Dude #2: What happened?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I got too drunk and forgot what she looked like.
Dude #2: You’re a fucking moron.
–6 train
