Chick: You know, I don’t believe Victorians shat.
Dude: Neither did they.
Chick: There is no way on Earth that what just came up from my system came up through theirs.
Dude: Surely not with that whole empire they were building.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, Times Square
Chick: So it’s like drinking your own sweat?
Guy: Well, it has salt in it.
–125th & Broadway
Guy #1: I’ll do it, but they’ve got to remember that Sunday is the least rock ‘n roll day of the week.
Guy #2: Yeah…
Guy #1: Jeez…I’m not like those guys, hangin’ out with their wives and kids and shit. What do they know about playing? I need to play.
Guy #2: Why don’t you try to break up their families? Ruin their marriages or some shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Spiros Harlequinn
Girl: So I hate both my dad and my stepdad.
Guy: That’s because your mom has shitty taste.
Girl: No, she has good tits!
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: Tony Cacioppo
Girl #1: She’s such a cranky hobag slut.
Girl #2: I love how we call her “slut” and she’s never even had sex with another cat. Ever.
–Williamsburg coffee shop
Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Dude #1: Hey, I’ve got some Valium if you want.
Dude #2: Nah, that’s a bad idea right before a show.
Girl: Well, I have some laxatives.
Dude #1: No way, remember what happened last time?
Dude #2: That was a really nice bathroom, though.
–F train
Overheard by: Athena
Girl #1: …So let me get this straight: while we were all sitting there, you watched the guy finger the dog’s ass?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: And what did the dog do?
Girl #2: Nothing. The dog was high.
–Q train
Overheard by: PhilosophyFan
Girl #1: Oh, I totally loaded my pants.
Girl #2: For reals?
Girl #1: Yeah, you gotta come look at this shit.
Girl #2: Wow, what did you eat?
–Manhattan Mall ladies’ room
White girl #1: You know that guy in the purple shirt we were talking to on the train? I think I know him.
White girl #2: Wait, you mean the guy in the black shirt?
White girl #1: No, his shirt was purple…the black guy, y’know?
WHite girl #2: I really think his shirt was black…
White girl #1: Sweetie, that was his face.
–168th Street station
Overheard by: Cheese Monkey
