Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
Girl: I never understand why people run on treadmills. It’s like they’re gerbils or something.
Guy: Yeah. They should be forced to eat all their food in pellet form.
–67th & 1st
Overheard by: BSinnott
Girl #1: I think there’s too many people in this room.
Girl #2: I think I’m going to throw up.
–Javits Center
Overheard by: ladolce
Girl #1: I just came came back for vacation.
Girl #2: Really? From where?
Girl #1: New Jersey.
Girl #2: What? That’s not a vacation, bitch.
—R train
Guy #1: Yeah, my mom said this church would help us find God or
something…
Guy #2: How are you supposed to find God?
Guy #1: Hell, I dunno, she said something about a treasure hunt…
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Karina
Bicycle girl: It smells like it’s about to rain.
Bicycle guy: That’s because it is raining.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Girl #1: She’s like me. She’s emotionally unavailable.
Girl #2: I do have emotions; it just so happens that most of those emotions are anger.
–Columbus Circle
Chick: We think you should sleep with David.
Queer: We think he’s the kind of guy who’s really scrawny but has a real big cock.
–Lillie’s, Red Hook
Girl #1: So I mean, he’s upset about her cheating on him, like crying and shit? Has he talked to her about this? That’s really shitty of her.
Girl #2: You do know they’re not having sex, right?
Girl #1: …How much non-sex are we talking?
–N train
Woman #1: Well, how old is she?
Woman #2: She’s about 77 and almost blind, but she’s still a raging liberal.
Woman #1: Really.
Woman #2: Yeah, she’s not too old to still call George Bush an asshole.
–83rd & Park
