Girl #1: Well…I think it will work out okay…I mean, it’s just so nice and thick.
Girl #2: Well, let me tell you…it’s just the way I was born. I looked at that and I was like, that’s huge! I’m gonna die!
–34th & Park
Overheard by: mariana
Girl #1: Well…I think it will work out okay…I mean, it’s just so nice and thick.
Girl #2: Well, let me tell you…it’s just the way I was born. I looked at that and I was like, that’s huge! I’m gonna die!
–34th & Park
Overheard by: mariana
Guy: Plutarch was–
Girl: Plutarch can suck my cunt. He was stupid.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jesse Shaver
Guy #1: Hey, what’s up?
Guy #2: Not much.
Guy #1: I heard you went to the hospital or something.
Guy #2: Yeah, I stopped breathing.
–F train
Dude #1: …This girl was so fucking hot. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, “I don’t dance” and I said, “I don’t either.” But she was like, “Sorry, I really don’t dance. I’m not, like, rejecting you or anything.” So I went back towards the stage and kept dancing.
Dude #2: Okay.
Dude #1: Then, after the next song, I went up to her and asked her to dance again and she said no, but she kinda smiled at me like she thought it was cute.
Dude #2: So?
Dude #1: So, after the show, I hung around to try to talk to her.
Dude #2: What happened?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I got too drunk and forgot what she looked like.
Dude #2: You’re a fucking moron.
–6 train
Guy: But I want to sing karaoke!
Chick: Save that for the wedding singers…it’s their job!
–Grand & Lafayette
Woman #1: He’s getting married you know.
Woman #2: He is, really? I sure hope he learned to give better cunnilingus.
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: Alex Yourke
Guy at urinal: Yo, Marcus, that was you in there?
Guy at sink: Hey. Yeah.
Guy at urinal: Jesus Christ.
Guy at sink: What’s that supposed to mean?
Guy at urinal: Well, it don’t smell like flowers.
–Puck Fair men’s room, Lafayette Street
Overheard by: Bill Shunn
Man #1: Dude, you won’t believe who I just saw in the park!
Man #2: Yeah, I heard Avril was there.
Man #1: Fuck that shit, bro. I just saw Emeril there doing some Good Morning American shit. BAM!
–40th between Broadway & 6th
Overheard by: Gregorio
Guy #1: …So I say to him, “For the last time, give me back my robocock!”, ya know? He still has my robocock.
Guy #2: How long has he had it?
Guy #1: See, that’s not the point. He’s a bastard in retro clothing.
–7th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Deadboy
Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
