Fun at the SI Ferry (It Is Possible)

A businesswoman throws up over the edge of the ferry. A chick walks up to help her, and then admonishes the ignoring crowd standing around her: You should all be ashamed of yourselves for not helping this poor woman!
Headphones Guy: Fuck you!
Chick: What if it was you getting sick over the rail?
Headphones Guy: Fuck you! I don’t get sick!

–Staten Island Ferry

Guy #1: Don’t you think that makes sense?
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t make sense, which is why I think we’re going to fucking get arrested!

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Overheard by: David Lock

Posted on August 10, 2023
Assholes, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, Friends, Health and Hygiene, Nice People, Staten Island Ferry, Vomit

They Managed to Shift Him to Screwing the Elderly

Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.

–La Grolla, UWS

Posted on August 6, 2023
Backdoor, Crazies, Death, Friends, Kink, Manhattan, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

It’s Part of the Elementary School Curriculum Here in New York

Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.

–Crowded 6 Train

Overheard by: ear hustler

Posted on July 31, 2023
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Friends, On the Subway, Penis, Public Transportation, Sexuality, Wishes & desires, Words

A Near-Death Experience May Cost You Some Friends

Guy: Dude…did I ever tell you about that time I died?
Friend: What?

–Union Square

Posted on July 25, 2023
Death, Friends, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

It’s Oleg Cassini’s “Powder and Pee”

Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…

–East Village

Posted on July 11, 2023
Babies, Foreigners, Friends, Jobs & Careers, Scents of the City, Union Square and East Village

Melonsday Jug-Liners

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…

–Rockefeller Center

Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!

–14th St & 10th ave

Overheard by: adam

Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.

–L Train

Overheard by: TR

Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?

–21st St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Steve

16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!

–F Train

Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

Posted on July 5, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Boob Job, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Friends, Girls, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Paranoia, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Rack, Rockefeller Center, Sensory Experiences, Street, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

But Your Nails Are a Wreck

Thug #1: I’m so fat.
Thug #2: No G, you not fat!
Thug #1: You playin’.
Thug #2: I’ll tell you fat. When you put on sweats and they stretch out. That’s fat. Besides, you’re like what, six foot six? You can pull it off.
Thug #1: Thanks, G!

–Inwood Pathmark, 207th St

Overheard by: austin

Posted on June 28, 2023
Clothing, Default, Diet/Weight, Friends, Gripes, Height, Physical appearance, Thugs, Washington Heights and Inwood

How Was Your Holiday, New York?

Guy: Did you hook up with anyone on New Year’s?
Girl: Yeah, and he’s like a prince of some country.
Guy: Heh, that’s cool I guess. Did he take you to his palace?
Girl: No, but that would’ve been cool. I’ve always wanted to touch a prince’s penis.

–6 train

Chick: So, I figured we’d ring in the new year with a three-way.

–34th & Park

Chick: There are 3 things I hate about the holidays. One, people who become assholes for no reason. Two, people who become more emotional for no reason. And three, people who are both of the above.

–86th & 2nd

Overheard by: Gwenn Levine

Posted on June 21, 2023
Friends, Girls, Holidays, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Penis, Three is Company, Upper East Side

Brooklyn’s a Lot Quieter Since the Pod People Moved In

Guy #1: Hey, what did you do this weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I bought a crock pot.
Guy #1: Awesome.

–80 Hansen Pl, Brookyln

Posted on June 20, 2023
Brooklyn, Business and Commerce, Compliments, Default, Friends, Guys, Leisure, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Get Blotto Like Otto

Blonde to other: Don't worry, within like an hour you'll have Jameson running through your system.

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Girl on cell: I'm kind of hungover–I think that gin and tonic was a bad idea. I was already drunk, I don't know why I felt the need to have one… And then I went home and made scrambled eggs, and then I wrote a long email to Jen* about how good they were and then I read it this morning and I was like "I am such an idiot!"

–Broadway & Great Jones

Overheard by: Lillian

Sorority girl on cell: Well, I'm going to have some champagne, but it's not like I'm knocking back shots with the guys. (pause) Yeah, I know, I know, I'll be careful. (pause) Don't worry, mom, I've done worse drugs than drink before! (long pause) I don't want to talk about it. (long long pause) So…I'm going to go horseback riding!

–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Horsies Are Pretty

Bartender: Ladies and gentlemen! Don't run away from or by the bar! You have an hour to walk to your seats. Again, please do not run from the bar, run to it!

—Wicked, Broadway

Girl to friend: I only get tipsy enough to go into the Virgin Megastore…

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Jonathan

Man to friend, about AA: Y'know, if I could drink like normal people, I'd get drunk every night.

–Central Park

Overheard by: John Tidyman

Girl to friend: When I told you to seize the moment I didn't know you were drunk!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on June 15, 2023
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Drunks, Family Ties, Food, Friends, Girls, Internet, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Sports, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners