Friends

20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.

University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri

Clarinet girl: I have, like, this fetish with office supplies, especially the electric stapler.
Friend: Oh my god! What?
Clarinet girl: Yeah, sometimes my roommate and I dance with it. And the boys above us creep at our window.
Friend: Oh… interesting.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/272573283/something-about-this-doesnt-seem-right.html

Overheard by: Glad I don't live near them… And glad I wasn't stuck with either of them as a roommate.

Guy: Where'd you go for lunch today?
Friend: Umm…I don't want to tell you.
Guy: Oh god, you went to Arby's, didn't you!
Friend, groaning: Yes.

Bar
Omaha, Nebraska

Stoner teen girl watching seals: If I ever turn into an animal, I hope I’m not a seal.
Friend: Why?
Stoner teen girl: ‘Cause just look at the poor things — it’s so hard for them to, like, move. They just wobble everywhere. No legs to help them. I feel so bad for them.

Camden Aquarium
Camden, New Jersey

Overheard by: maryjane

Girl to friends: Fuck Europe! I got Tanzania all up on my ass!

Atlanta, Georgia

Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, “it's okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me.”
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn't know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?

Hot Springs, Idaho

Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California

Woman #1: I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Me, too! What happened?
Woman #1: I don’t know. I just fell.
Woman #2: I guess I’m a little better than you — a possum was chasing me.

Target
Virginia

Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!

Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia

20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.

Canisius College
Buffalo, New York