Weather

Woman: Shit, if I were homeless I’d move somewhere warm in the winter. New York City is too damn cold!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Carlos Gantt

Younger pharmacy clerk: I'm cold.
Older pharmacy clerk: That's your problem.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Dave

Hungover girl #1: I can't believe how wasted we got last night.
Hungover girl #2: I know, I feel like shit. It's a nice day though.
Random neighbor: Oh… look! It's the two drunk girls that cursed me out last night.
Random neighbor's girlfriend: What did you do?

–Upper East Side

Younger kid: Damn, look at all the puddles of water in here.
Older kid: Look like hurricane Katrina hit this bitch.
(younger kid laughs)
Older kid: Niggas from New Orleans swimmin in the water and shit.

–Macy’s Bathroom

Overheard by: Anon

Girl: Those weather websites are so unreliable. They all say different things. The other day, I went to one, and it was like, ‘Partly sunny.’ Okay. Then I went to another, and it was like, ‘Party cloudy.’ They’re all different.

–NYU residence hall, Lafayette St

Overheard by: Rusty V

Guy selling umbrellas: Acid rain in the forecast today. Acid rain all day. Get your umbrellas!

–86th & Lex

Overheard by: Wondering what the umbrellas were made out of

Girl: The rain is the tears of Republicans.

–Hamilton Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: alex

High school chick on cell: The glaciers are gonna melt and the sea is gonna rise, and then you best hope it doesn’t rain… I don’t know, I haven’t read that far yet.

–Spring St

Overheard by: Dan

Suit on cell: It’s raining like a whore!

–Penn Station

Girl: Don't let her drink after midnight. Make her go home. Are you listening to me? Don't let her drink after midnight!
Man: Am I supposed to keep her away from sunlight and not get her wet either?
Girl: What? What are you? Fine! You get the deal with her mess!

–15th St & Union Square East

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Insurance guy #1: Man, I love this weather!
Insurance guy #2: Yeah, I love global warming… That’s why I drive an SUV. We’re tropical animals, we’re supposed to be in tropical weather!

–25th St & Madison Ave

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.

–Barnard College

Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.

–Cort Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.

–Bryant Park

Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done."

–Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: jon

Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.

–51st St & 8th Ave

Girl: Damn, it’s really cold!
Guy: I know! I hate having to smoke outside in this weather.
Girl: Totally — they should let us smoke inside when it gets like this. Cold weather is bad for your health, y’know?

–29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Jah Shu Wah

Bus driver, upon seeing a rainbow: Out the right side there is a beautiful rainbow.
Man in the back of the bus: Michael Jackson did that! He probably starting singing “over the rainbow” and God made one appear!

–Berry & N 7th

Overheard by: Bean