U.S. Geography

Ghetto girl #1: …so I was talkin’ to that guy and his accent was so fuckin’ hot–guys from there have accents for whatever–and I’m like, “Yo, why you got an accent? You only live like 20 miles away.” I was like, “Nigga, what the fuck is up with havin’ an accent and bein’ from Louisiana?” He then be lookin’ at me like I swallowed my own piss.
Ghetto girl #2: You so stupid. His accent be the thing that make you want him. You so stupid. Know why? I don’t think he even had an accent; you probably thought he was from Jamaica or something. Just because he black. You a bad liar too. People from Louisiana can’t have accents. That’s for people from different parts of the world, like the Canadians in Europe. Canada’s such a fuckin’ weird country, but they got hot accents. If you from Louisiana, you sound just like you do if you from New York, and if you from New Jersey. If you from Canada, you sound mad different, because it’s on the other side.
Ghetto girl #1: Well nah, I knew Canada was overseas…but they ain’t got accents. I’m tellin’ ya though, this fuckin’ Louisiana guy has a fuckin’ accent…and it’s not even as far as Canada…Louisiana is a drive away; it’s fuckin’ nuts. I just wish I could make out with him so that I could feel his fuckin’ Louisiana lips, but then I guess I be wrong, he can’t be from Louisiana. So I guess I’ma dream of kissin’ him when we be in Canada. It’s across the world and great.
Bystander guy: The sad thing about this is that you two will probably become teachers.

–Queens Plaza station

Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.

–1 train

Actor guy #1: Are you from the South?
Actor guy #2: The South of this country?

–Lehman College

Overheard by: BriGuy Ferrari

White guy: God! This is taking forever!
Black guy: Hey man, you don’t like it then go back to Omaha or Ohio or whatever square state you’re from.
White guy: But I’m from Brooklyn.
Black guy: Then act like it!

–Whitehall SI Ferry terminal

Guy: Whenever I tell anyone I’m from San Francisco, they always ask
me if I’m gay. Yes, I’m gay, and my mom is gay, and my dad is gay too!
Girl: I’m from San Francisco as well.

–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg

Chick #1: So, that girl from Japan is paying double rent, right? $1600 on her apartment here, and $1800 on the other apartment where she was living. I asked her how she could afford both places and she told me that her Mom and her sister died in a plane crash.
Chick #2: Holy shit! Which plane crash?
Chick #1: I don’t know, one in Japan.
Chick #2: So she’s rich now, right?
Chick #3: That’s how my friend moved to Miami.

–Williamsburg

Teen girl: Wow, that’s so sad…
Woman: Yeah, they have no electricity, no water to drink, no food to eat, nothing.
Teen girl: Well, can’t they just boil the water on the ground and drink it? They say the city is flooded with like six feet of water.
Woman: No, honey, that water is way too contaminated to be boiled, and besides that, they don’t have electricity.
Teen girl: Oh that’s so sad. Where is that?

–LaGuardia

Overheard by: Holly Percey

Woman: So, what is it you like about New Orleans?

–Becco, W. 46th Street

Chick: Apparently there will be another September 11th this month.

–65th & Lexington

Girl: Looks like you got a tan this weekend.
Guy: Yeah, I was out on my friend’s boat but we ran out of gas in the harbor so we were out on the water for a while.
Girl: You know, that was one thing I kept thinking about all weekend, how inflated the price of marine diesel fuel must be.
Guy: It wasn’t my boat so I really don’t know.

They get off the elevator.

Human being: You know, the one thing I kept thinking about all weekend was all the fucking dead people.

–Elevator, Madison & 49th

Overheard by: Captain Obvious

Hipster chick: You like the Killers? Of all the British bands–
Hipster boy: I think they’re from Vegas, actually.
Hipster chick: Well, I just assumed they’re British because they suck.

–L train

Girl #1: I just came came back for vacation.
Girl #2: Really? From where?
Girl #1: New Jersey.
Girl #2: What? That’s not a vacation, bitch.

—R train

B&T Girl #1: He is so “not Westchester.”
B&T Girl #2: I know!
B&T Girl #3: I don’t get it. I’ve been here a year and I don’t get that. And what is or who is “the bridge and tunnel crowd”? Is it a good thing that those guys called us “bridge and tunnel crowd” when we walked in?
B&T Girl #1: Eww.
B&T Girl #2: Gross.
B&T Girl #1: Ew, oh there is so no way anyone called me bridge and tunnel.
B&T Girl #3: So that’s bad?
B&T Girl #2: What could be worse?

–Metro-North