U.S. Geography

Lady: What’s that lake that separates the North and the South?
Man: What lake?
Lady: You know, that big lake?
Man: I thought it was a river.

–B train

Overheard by: cee

Little UES girl #1: I’ve never been West, but my mom talks about it.
Little UES girl #2: People actually live there.

–M86 bus

Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.

–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street

Overheard by: Jon Edelman

Yankee fan: Hey, go back to Boston buddy!
Red Sox fan: You know you love Boston.
Yankee fan: Well, that doesn’t make any fucking sense, now does it?

–Yankee Stadium

Woman: Would you let Michael go to the west coast?
Man #1: What?
Man #2: No! You don’t want him to be a freak.
Woman: I didn’t mean Oregon.

–Chipolte, 44th Street

Overheard by: Holly

Asian yuppie: I think Victoria’s Secret is turning into the new McDonald’s.

–18th & 6th

Guy: Oh man, Gristedes can suck me off!

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Chick on cell: She just got this amazing job where she can live anywhere she wants in the Midwest!

–Prince & Broadway

Lady: You don’t have plastic bags? This is New York!

–Chipotle, E. 8th Street

Teen girl #1: I’m going to Delaware this weekend. Fucking Delaware!
Teen girl #2: It’s not that bad, Delaware’s cool.
Teen girl #1: No, it’s not. Delaware’s like…a booger in the nose of America, a pimple on the chin of the USA, a snaggletooth in the smile of–
Teen girl #2: OK, we get it. You hate Delaware.

–1 train

Woman #1: So it was great to see you again!
Woman #2: I know, you too!
Woman #1: Now I forgot, where are you going on vacation again?
Woman #2: Oh, just up to Vermont. We’re going to see a psychiatrist.

–Broadway and Waverly

Girl: I grew up in Sioux City, Iowa.
Guy: Oh, I’ve never been to Iowa…but I’ve been to Idaho.

–Williamsburg party

Overheard by: James G

Teenage Girl #1: How much longer?
Teenage Girl #2: I think 3 more stops, then we get the L train.
Teenage Girl #1: You kidding me? It’s taking forever, I feel like we’re in Connecticut!

–C train