Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.
–38th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rosey
NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!
–Broadway & Waverly
Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?
–1 Train
Overheard by: amalthya
Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?
–Costco, Brooklyn
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?
–85th & 1st
Overheard by: Special K
Guy #1: Hard to believe it’s Thanksgiving already.
Guy #2: Next week.
Guy #1: How much do cigarettes cost in Florida?
–Ranch 1, Times Square
Young woman: How many children do you have?
Old woman: Two… well, I had three, but one moved to Florida.
–Doctor’s office, 166 E. 63rd
Hobo: You want to know why America is the land of free? Go to jail; free food, free bed.
–53rd & Madison
Overheard by: Ramblin Bradley Scott
Guy on cell: I’m just so sick of hearing about Gaza. So many people getting shot…it just sounds like LA.
–86th & CPW
Girl: “AKA” means “otherwise known as.” This is America!
–23 Street C station
Hipster guy on cell: How’s Delaware?…Aw, I’m sorry…Your grandma what?…Ew!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Shawn Chesterfield
Hobo: I wish all of America was in Jordan.
–Stuyvesant Park
Woman: …It’s not the money I’m worried about, it’s just that
Hoboken taxi drivers are shitheads.
–Office, 50th & 6th
Woman on cell: …and I mean, where the fuck am I supposed to find a hooker? This isn’t Las Vegas!
–54th & 6th
Overheard by: Eface
Tourist man: One way ticket to Hewston please.
–50th Street 1 station
Turbaned white guy: Well, obviously I’m American, but my preferred religion is Punjabi.
–Union Square
Overheard by: misha
Suit: Hawaii is so boring! There’s nothing to do but stay calm.
–52nd & Lexington
Girl: Have you been to the rest of the country? The rest of the country is not New York. They obviously don’t know anything about fashion.
–Shea Stadium
Female suit on cell: And if we get custody, we can take the girls to North Carolina! Fuck it! Yeah, we can!
–37th St & Madison
Overheard by: catching a train
Little boy: Mommy, is California really far? Would we have to take the f train to get there?
–N Train
Crazy-eyed lady on subway: The public schools failed my son! He flunked out, and now he's getting all As in private school! We need to stop putting money into Georgia and put money into our schools! You know what else we need to do? We need to drill in Alaska, because if we don't, Russia's going to get a pipeline in there and take it all!
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Anna P.
20-something woman: I think he's just going to club me…and drag me back to Alaska.
–Bleecker & 11th
Overheard by: Imma club you
Father to five-year-old daughter touching signposts and cars: You can rub anything you want in Connecticut, honey, but we have to be careful in New York.
–Union Square
Thugette: Ohio was mad crazy. Hillbillies be fucking chillin' on the block. Ain't no one had teeth! No one! You ever seen one of those movies where some white guy goes fucking crazy and kills, like, ten people? Like he's walking down the street and just stabs a cat in the neck? It was like that.
–V Train
Girl on cell: No, no, I’m not anywhere near there…No, I’m in Manhattan City, visiting a school.
–NYU Bookstore, Washington Place
Overheard by: Meghan
Guy waiting on passport line: I'd like an expedited passport.
Postal worker: Oooh! Going anywhere fun?
Guy: Florida.
–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: BLSwhatwhat
Conductor: Could the loud and rowdy passengers please calm down? We ask that passengers on the train respect the other riders.
Sailor #1: Fuck you! Fuck you! I don’t give a fuck what you say. I do whatever I want.
Sailor #2: Wait, what if he gets mad and, like, drops us off in a different state?!
–6 train
