Office

Office worker #1: Fred Wertheimer? He’s the husband of the fabulous Linda Wertheimer…
Office worker #2: Who is that?
Office worker #1: She is a really famous radio person on NPR.
Office worker #2: What is NPR?

–Midtown office

Editor: So she went to this party in San Diego and got slipped a roofie. The guy couldn’t even get her home. She had to be taken straight to the hospital. It’s one of those things that you feel terrible for her, but also find awfully titillating.
Art Director: Wow. Crossing the line…
Editor: Hey, I will not keep secrets from myself or you!

–Midtown office

Woman #1: …and I was crouching down with my 6 or 7 inches of my bare ass showing, it was so embarrassing, and he stayed there!
Woman #2: Maybe he was a pee fetishist!
Woman #1: But he was young!
Woman #2: Maybe you turned him into a pee fetishist!

–Noho office bathroom

Office thug #1: Yo, Windows is, like, mad-retarded!
Office thug #2: Say what?
Office thug #1: I said Windows is bullshit, man.
Office thug #2: Man, I been telling you that shit for years. My G5 is way better than whatever computer you got.
Office thug #1: Nigga, my laptop has AIDS!

–52nd St & Madison

Girl: …he had a tattoo of a tornado on his ring finger to remind himself never to get married again.

–Midtown elevator

Hobo: Try a squirrel. Tastes like steak!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: prairie squid

Guy #1: I’m not a very social person.
Guy #2: Join the club.

–Office, 29th & 7th

Coloring kindergartner #1: Some animals have poison in them.
Coloring kindergartner #2, looking worried: Like kittens?

–Community Center Office

Guy #1: Uno mas.
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: Uno mas means once more. Don’t they speak Mexican in Michigan?
Guy #2: Hell no.

–Office, West 28th Street

Young woman: How many children do you have?
Old woman: Two… well, I had three, but one moved to Florida.

–Doctor’s office, 166 E. 63rd

Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.

–Elevator, McCann Erickson office