Queer: Do you know why else I want to move to London? Camdentown. There are lots of punks.
Chick: But wouldn’t there also be a lot of white supremacists?
Queer: I could do white supremacists.
Chick: But aren’t they also homophobic?
Queer: No, just repressed.
–Law office, 50th & 8th
Receptionist lady: What’s your name?
Little boy: Nayan.
Receptionist lady: Can you spell that for me?
Little boy: N-A-Y-A-N.
Receptionist lady: Did your mommy tell you what your name means?
Little Boy: X-ray vision.
–Doctor’s office, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rachel
President: …and drop it off on the Upper West Side at 77th and 2nd.
Assistant chick: But that’s the East Side, you mean–
President: No, the West side at seventy-seventh and 2nd!
–E. 33rd Street office
Suit #1: We should join the citywide watergun assassination competition!
Suit #2: Great, then we can worry about the cops.
Suit #1: Oh come on, it’s waterguns.
Suit #2: Cops have killed over less.
–Old Slip office
Overheard by: Kevin
Lab coat guy: So, her son’s name is Spike? Who names their kid Spike?
Blue shirt guy: No. His real name is something stupid like Leonard.
–Washington Mutual, 71st & 1st
Employee: Can I leave at 5?
Boss: Why?
Employee: I cannot work here for more than 5 hours day, for medical reasons.
Boss: What reason?
Employee: Well, this work is so dull and unsatisfying that if I work more than 5 hours a day I could jump out the window?
Boss: Wait, did you say you go to NYU?
–22nd Street office
Bystander guy #1: Congratulations!
Bystander guy #2: One sixteenth of you are gonna make it!
–NYU Graduation Ceremony, Washington Square Park
Guy #1: Did you watch your Pee Wee’s Playhouse last night?
Guy #2: It didn’t come!
–27th Street office
Guy: My roommate is such a pain in the ass. It’s always something with her. She never stops complaining about something.
Girl: I know, same thing at my house.
Guy: She gets me so fed up it’s like all i hear now is, “Wah wah, my pussy hurts.”
–Penn Plaza office
Overheard by: Ocera
Office worker #1: Fred Wertheimer? He’s the husband of the fabulous Linda Wertheimer…
Office worker #2: Who is that?
Office worker #1: She is a really famous radio person on NPR.
Office worker #2: What is NPR?
–Midtown office
Editor: So she went to this party in San Diego and got slipped a roofie. The guy couldn’t even get her home. She had to be taken straight to the hospital. It’s one of those things that you feel terrible for her, but also find awfully titillating.
Art Director: Wow. Crossing the line…
Editor: Hey, I will not keep secrets from myself or you!
–Midtown office
