Office

Man: Don't worry, when your up there shakin' your booty, ain't nobody gonna be lookin' at your stomach!
Woman: You're right.

–Borough Hall Courtyard

Overheard by: Nacona

Man #1: I don’t want black shoes. They get too hot in the summer.
Man #2: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How much surface area of your shoes actually faces the sun?

–Office, East 45th Street

Overheard by: l.k.

Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.

–Office Building, W 46th St

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!

–Union Square Station

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.

–105th & Broadway

Overheard by: Andy

Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: peeper

City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: E

Young guy, trying to allow older woman to get in line first: Ladies first.
Old woman: I'm not a lady.
Young guy: Oh.

–Office, 54th & 6th

Overheard by: Biscuit-lover

Girl: There’s a deli now.
Guy: They moved to Delhi?
Girl: No, there’s an Israeli deli there now, which tells you something about the scene.
Guy: I thought they moved to Delhi “where the trance scene is happening”.

–27th street office

Yuppie: I don’t google enough.

–F Train, 7th Ave

Overheard by: imaginexrach

Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: Asian Kid

Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!

–Office on 42nd & Madison

Overheard by: herspace

Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.

–8th St & Broadway

Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much.

–Midtown office

Guy: She did this album made up entirely of processed sex noises. It’s her and her boyfriend having sex in various sundry ways. She got mentioned in a British newspaper and then the Daily News picked it up. And now it looks like she’s going to have a record deal. Most of it is…it’s kind of German, you know?

–27th Street office

Old Spanish guy: …I mean, I’d accept welfare but I have my self-respect. Respect has to come from the self.
Old White guy: Once you respect the self, you can do anything.

–Post office, 14th between 1st & A

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Old lady employee: His boss hired a lawyer for him.
Young lady employee: Oh, so he’s still working?
Old lady employee: What?
Young lady employee: Are you telling me he works during the day and then he goes back to jail at night?
Old lady employee: Girl, are you sure you went to college?

–Office, 5th Ave