Attorney: Are there any activities you were able to do prior to the accident that you can no longer do?
Witness: [Inaudible, then] Pong.
Attorney: I’m sorry, did you say, ‘beer pong’?
–Midtown law firm
Overheard by: Amused intern
Attorney: Are there any activities you were able to do prior to the accident that you can no longer do?
Witness: [Inaudible, then] Pong.
Attorney: I’m sorry, did you say, ‘beer pong’?
–Midtown law firm
Overheard by: Amused intern
Black kid to father: Dad, were you ever a slave?
Father: No, son.
Black kid: Was I ever a slave?
Father: No.
Black kid, sighing: Good.
–Doctor's Office, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Mike F.
Old man: I don’t like to see musicals about awful historical events, like the French Revolution. Or the Holocaust.
Guy: Or spelling bees?
Old man: No, that one was pretty good.
–Office, Wall & Broadway
Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough.
–Bowling Green
Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York.
–Worth & Broadway
Overheard by: Half Shirt
Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.”
–Office, Carnegie Hall
Overheard by: inge
Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas!
–Uptown R train
Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this!
–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Dr. Mary
Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jen
Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here!
–Times Square
Dealer: I got ecstacy, I got crystal meth, I got hydro…OK, y’all have a nice holiday.
–Washington Square park
Overheard by: Mark Asch
Street Preacher: Have you found Jesus?!
Guy #1: Why? Did you lose him?
Street Preacher: Have you found your Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ?
Guy #2: Next time, try using better fucking nails!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: eb
Guy: I think her Easter eggs say “Satan” on them.
–27th Street office
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart.
–Broadway & Waverly
Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne.
–Midtown Office
Man: Don't worry, when your up there shakin' your booty, ain't nobody gonna be lookin' at your stomach!
Woman: You're right.
–Borough Hall Courtyard
Overheard by: Nacona
Man #1: I don’t want black shoes. They get too hot in the summer.
Man #2: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How much surface area of your shoes actually faces the sun?
–Office, East 45th Street
Overheard by: l.k.
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E
Young guy, trying to allow older woman to get in line first: Ladies first.
Old woman: I'm not a lady.
Young guy: Oh.
–Office, 54th & 6th
Overheard by: Biscuit-lover
