Young woman: How many children do you have?
Old woman: Two… well, I had three, but one moved to Florida.
–Doctor’s office, 166 E. 63rd
Young woman: How many children do you have?
Old woman: Two… well, I had three, but one moved to Florida.
–Doctor’s office, 166 E. 63rd
Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.
–Elevator, McCann Erickson office
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Woman: How dare you?! How dare you?! How can you say that? How can you tell my child I don’t love him? Apologize! Apologize!
Man: It’s a dog.
Woman: How dare you?! Apologize right now!
–Tower Records, E 4th & Lafayette
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?
–Office Building, 32nd & 7th
Overheard by: erkala
Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!
–Toys R' Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.
–Canal Street
Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!
–Ave B
Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.
–West 4th Street
Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: sal b
Guy to friend: Yeah, Eric's an asshole, but he's like… my asshole.
–11th & Broadway
Overheard by: Z
Man on cell: I enjoy sucking the wind out of assholes.
–Brooklyn Public House
Overheard by: In fairness, the conversation was about verbal bullies
Girl: Wow, my asshole has just been all sorts of evil all day, I shat in four different bathrooms on this floor and the one up, so I wouldn't suffer alone. I shared its wrath. Is that wrong?
–Office, Midtown
Loud dude: My asshole is really fucking itchy!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Crazy hobo: Attention everyone! You're all assholes! Stupid assholes!!
–Park Row, near Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hollister
Guy: The train car smelled like a dead rat today, I swear.
Woman: I know. It stays in your nose. It’s like a dead body. When you smell rotting flesh, it stays with you no matter what you do. Same with skunk.
–Office, 35th & 8th
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
Girl #1: Today is Madonna’s birthday!
Girl #2: 60th?
–Office, 47th & 5th
Guy: I like Bin Laden, you know? I like his style. Nobody can figure that motherfucker out. Hell, I’d wear a t-shirt with that motherfucker’s face on it. The snipers, they be tryin’ to find him and didn’t find shit. I give him mad credit. He bad ass.
–Post Office, 42nd between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Babs Monroe