Office

Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?

–116th St & Broadway

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.

–Midtown Office

Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size

Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.

–East Village

Engineer: Unlike you, I am not always thinking about cock!

–Midtown office

Overheard by: Randy Locklair

Blonde Teen: No. Like it’s hairy. Like really hairy. Like I-have-to-trim-it hairy.

–3rd Ave & 11th St.

Overheard by: D O double

Man: That’s a nice necklace.
Woman: Thank you. It’s something my sister brought back from…either Acapulco or the Poconos, whichever one’s an island.

–Office, 45th & 3rd

Businesswoman: I had a senior moment.
Businessman: A seizure?
Businesswoman: No, a senior moment.
Businessman: Brain seizure?
Businesswoman: No, senior!

–Midtown office

Suit #1: Where’s this dive you were telling me about?
Suit #2: West of Union Square.
Suit #1: Oh yeah?
Suit #2: Yeah, ballerina girls from Michigan go there. They are bendy.

–Old Slip office

Overheard by: Kevin

Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man?

–Office, 36th Street

Female trader: Oh my god, I’ve been so busy lately.
Eager new hire: Is there anything I can help you with?
Female trader: Well, I’ve actually been too busy to read ABC blog* and XYZ blog* today. If you could write me up a summary, that would be great.
Eager new hire: Uh, sure.

–Trading Floor

Overheard by: PageSixisBetter

Black woman #1: I think Tony could be your sugar daddy.
Black woman #2: Ummm, no.
Black woman #1: Why not?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: Why? You guys get along so well.
Black woman #2: Because I think he has a sugar daddy.

–Office building, Midtown

Businessman: I’m sure glad I found that document. I was about to cry.

–Midtown Office

Guy associate: I mean, I saw the picture; how dangerous could it
really be?
Girl associate: Well, it would be pretty terrible to die on your
honeymoon. I mean, what’s the protocol for that? Do you get to keep
the wedding gifts? Send them back?

–Law Firm, 59th & Lexington