Naked woman #1: Why are you staring at me?
Naked woman #2: I’m not staring. It’s a public place, I’m not invading your space.
Naked woman #1: I don’t care if you invade my space, I just don’t want to be sucking on your nanas.
–Locker room, NYSC, Midtown
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Girl on cell: Yeah…he was big. Real big. Like…it hurts big. I’m talking anaconda.
–72nd Street 1/2/3 station
Overheard by: Jennie S.
Man on cell: I’m tired, man! I been working all week. Do I have to sign the paper with my dick?…No, I’m not complainin’.
–84th & 2nd
Lady: Yo, it smells like dirty dick over here.
–Dakota Roadhouse, Park Place
Overheard by: Courtney C
Guy: Just because you’re hot and sweaty doesn’t mean you can’t have your cock hangin’ out on a Friday night.
–Houston between Eldridge & Forsyth
Women: Why does every man have to stare at my tits? Like they’ve never seen none before? Haven’t they seen their Momma’s or their wives’ or their girlfriends’? The other day a man asked me if my tits were real, I said, “Is your dick real?”.
–7th & 30th
Chickon cell: Yeah, girl, he has a turtle dick.
–M5 bus
Overheard by: Orianna Baez
Girl: Believe me, if I wanted your dick up my ass, I would have put it there myself.
–SOB’s, Varick Street
NYU girl #1 with a low-cut shirt: Oh my god, why is it so hot outside? My boobs are burning!
Hot NYU guy: Hey, Cindy*!
NYU girl #1: Oh, hey Sam*!
NYU girl #2, after guy passes by: He totally heard you say your boobs were burning.
NYU girl #1, embarrassed: I know.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: might wanna get that checked out
One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox?
–R Train
Overheard by: Ferna
Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself)
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: AleKatz
Woman on cell: It smells like college!
–BrewFest, South Street Seaport
Office student: It literally smells like my ass.
–CCNY Computer Lab
Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties.
–Q Train
Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: who are these people?
Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It's in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lacy
Patient: My breasts look like slot machines!
–NY Presbyterian Hospital, 61st & York
Overheard by: Johnny Drama
Girl #1: I want to get pregnant in March. Let's get pregnant in march.
Girl #2: Wait, where are we now?
Girl #1: My uterus is ready.
Girl #2: I had a full checkup, and my uteri are great.
Girl #1: Oh my god, you have two uteruses? You are awesome! You have utters. You have yoo-utters!
Girl #2: Yeah, I have three breasts.
–Cafe near Columbia
Overheard by: DL
Teen girl #1, pointing to mannequin: Look! Those are the boobs we were talking about!
Teen girl #2: I know, those boobs are so obnoxious!
–89th St & Broadway
Girl #1: Wait, how many boobs are usually on three girls?
Girl #2: Six.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: anna
