Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a penis, too, man.’
–W 4th & 6th
Crazy guy: The revolution is in my pussy! The revolution is in my vagina!
–Washington Square Park
Prep school gangsta leaving train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!
–C train
Overheard by: Annearchist
Guy yelling into cell: I’m an intelligent woman! So I think…
–59th St, Columbus Circle
NYU chick: If I was a hermaphrodite, then I would totally understand what they were talking about.
–Shade, W 3rd & Sullivan
Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at dinnerware: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at pots: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at woman: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: Yes, but that’s rude.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I’ve pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn’t find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.
–Church St
Overheard by: Emma
20‐something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?
–Outside Town Shop
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Elderly woman examining bras: What’s with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!
–H&M, 5th Ave
Overheard by: titti‐less
Eight‐year‐old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: emdeebee
Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.
–Arthur Ave
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn’t she know that the “having big boobs” thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20‐something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, ’cause I don’t know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don’t put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won’t return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This’ll put hair on my boobies.
Husband’s friends: That’s just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)
–Brother Jimmy’s BBQ, Upper West Side
Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y’know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it’s a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.
–14th & 8th
Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? “I have a smack habit, give me money”!
–St. Mark’s Place
Yuppie man: If I hear “breast milk cupcakes” one more time…
–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill
Yuppie, thoughtfully: It’s not the mustard, it’s what the mustard represents!
–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave
Girl #1: Sophie! Stop looking at your boobs!
Girl #2: I wasn’t!
Girl #1: You totally were.
Girl #2: Well, the only reason you could tell that I was was that you look at your boobs all the time!
Girl #1: No, the reason I could tell was that you were like… (looks at boobs)
Girl #2: Liane! Stop looking at your boobs!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone! She’s hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl’s friend: She’s got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I’ve seen boobs before! Booo!
(later)
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone, she’s hot!
Yankee fan: That’s your opinion! Booo!
–Yankee Stadium
Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.
–F train
Man #1: Your kid actually wants to go to the doctor?
Man #2: Yeah, he can’t stop thinkin’ about ’em.
Man #1: Thinking about what?
Man #2: Boobs! He can’t stop thinking about boobs!
–12th & Broadway
