Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a penis, too, man.’

–W 4th & 6th

Crazy guy: The revolution is in my pussy! The revolution is in my vagina!

–Washington Square Park

Prep school gangsta leaving train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!

–C train

Overheard by: Annearchist

Guy yelling into cell: I’m an intelligent woman! So I think…

–59th St, Columbus Circle

NYU chick: If I was a hermaphrodite, then I would totally understand what they were talking about.

–Shade, W 3rd & Sullivan

Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at dinnerware: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at pots: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: No.
Two‐year‐old boy, pointing at woman: Boobies?
Mother, pushing him inside shopping cart: Yes, but that’s rude.

–Bed Bath & Beyond

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I’ve pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn’t find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20‐something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What’s with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti‐less

Eight‐year‐old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn’t she know that the “having big boobs” thing is, like, not in anymore?

–86th St

Overheard by: Kevin

Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Overheard by: Eric

20‐something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, ’cause I don’t know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…

–Pratt Institute

Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don’t put them titties away!

–5th & 21st

Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!

–Carnegie Deli

Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won’t return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This’ll put hair on my boobies.
Husband’s friends: That’s just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)

–Brother Jimmy’s BBQ, Upper West Side

Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y’know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it’s a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? “I have a smack habit, give me money”!

–St. Mark’s Place

Yuppie man: If I hear “breast milk cupcakes” one more time…

–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill

Yuppie, thoughtfully: It’s not the mustard, it’s what the mustard represents!

–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave

Girl #1: Sophie! Stop looking at your boobs!
Girl #2: I wasn’t!
Girl #1: You totally were.
Girl #2: Well, the only reason you could tell that I was was that you look at your boobs all the time!
Girl #1: No, the reason I could tell was that you were like… (looks at boobs)
Girl #2: Liane! Stop looking at your boobs!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone! She’s hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl’s friend: She’s got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I’ve seen boobs before! Booo!
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone, she’s hot!
Yankee fan: That’s your opinion! Booo!

–Yankee Stadium

Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.

–F train

Man #1: Your kid actually wants to go to the doctor?
Man #2: Yeah, he can’t stop thinkin’ about ’em.
Man #1: Thinking about what?
Man #2: Boobs! He can’t stop thinking about boobs! 

–12th & Broadway