Old man: I’m picking up a big‐legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that’s good.
Old man: Yeah, she’s 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you’re excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!

–Metro‐North Rail

Overheard by: Reilly

Girl #1: I will not touch your chest on a crowded subway.
Girl #2: Some other place, then.

–4 Train

Loud chick #1: So, they instituted a dress code for the entire office because, like, one woman walks around with these low‐cut blouses with her girls out.
Loud chick #2: Are yours girls? Mine are boys. One’s named Lou* and the other’s named Stan*.

–A train

Overheard by: aja

Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!

–Metropolitan & Humboldt

Overheard by: dani d

Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?“
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You’re right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother’s breasts!

–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU

Overheard by: I know I would

Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!


A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.

–Varick Street

Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz

Old lady #1: Well, then my grandson and his friends went over to Hooters. You know, Hooters the restaurant? Do you know what hooters are?
Old lady #2: Big boobies?

–Guy & Gallard Deli, 6th & 37th

Overheard by: Michelle S.

Aging rocker: I love you, baby face.
Drunk wife, endearingly: Fuck my tits.

–R Train

Overheard by: erak

Screaming deranged lesbian to gay leathermen: Who’s the titty toucher?
(bewildered looks all around, then a gay leatherman sheepishly raises hand)
Screaming deranged lesbian: Here’s a 10% coupon! Thanks for the titty grope!

–The Leatherman Store

Guy #1: I typed “gentrification” on Google Images and I got titties.
Guy #2: Man, you can type in anything and get titties.