Boys Have Wednesday One-liners, Girls Have a Vagina

Girl on cell: Yeah…he was big. Real big. Like…it hurts big. I’m talking anaconda.

–72nd Street 1/2/3 station

Overheard by: Jennie S.

Man on cell: I’m tired, man! I been working all week. Do I have to sign the paper with my dick?…No, I’m not complainin’.

–84th & 2nd

Lady: Yo, it smells like dirty dick over here.

–Dakota Roadhouse, Park Place

Overheard by: Courtney C

Guy: Just because you’re hot and sweaty doesn’t mean you can’t have your cock hangin’ out on a Friday night.

–Houston between Eldridge & Forsyth

Women: Why does every man have to stare at my tits? Like they’ve never seen none before? Haven’t they seen their Momma’s or their wives’ or their girlfriends’? The other day a man asked me if my tits were real, I said, “Is your dick real?”.

–7th & 30th

Chickon cell: Yeah, girl, he has a turtle dick.

–M5 bus

Overheard by: Orianna Baez

Girl: Believe me, if I wanted your dick up my ass, I would have put it there myself.

–SOB’s, Varick Street

Posted on May 24, 2023
On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Rack

He’ll Be Back

NYU girl #1 with a low-cut shirt: Oh my god, why is it so hot outside? My boobs are burning!
Hot NYU guy: Hey, Cindy*!
NYU girl #1: Oh, hey Sam*!
NYU girl #2, after guy passes by: He totally heard you say your boobs were burning.
NYU girl #1, embarrassed: I know.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: might wanna get that checked out

Posted on December 28, 2022
Heat, Rack, Students, Talking/Convos, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Smell Like Victory

One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox?

–R Train

Overheard by: Ferna

Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself)

–McCarren Park

Overheard by: AleKatz

Woman on cell: It smells like college!

–BrewFest, South Street Seaport

Office student: It literally smells like my ass.

–CCNY Computer Lab

Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties.

–Q Train

Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything.

–Union Square

Overheard by: who are these people?

Posted on November 11, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Botox, Brooklyn, City College, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Crazy, Girls, Guys, Insults, Latinos, Laughter, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Orgasm, Parks, Questions, Rack, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Street, Students, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

So I'm Good 'til the Year 3000

Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It's in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Lacy

Posted on October 3, 2022
Black People, Boob Job, Health and Hygiene, Insults, On the Subway, Rack, Women

Old Ladies Tug on Them Repeatedly?

Patient: My breasts look like slot machines!

–NY Presbyterian Hospital, 61st & York

Overheard by: Johnny Drama

Posted on June 11, 2022
Body Parts, Hospitals, Rack, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Women

How Do You Think I Got Into That Sorority?

Girl #1: I want to get pregnant in March. Let's get pregnant in march.
Girl #2: Wait, where are we now?
Girl #1: My uterus is ready.
Girl #2: I had a full checkup, and my uteri are great.
Girl #1: Oh my god, you have two uteruses? You are awesome! You have utters. You have yoo-utters!
Girl #2: Yeah, I have three breasts.

–Cafe near Columbia

Overheard by: DL

Posted on May 23, 2022
Body Parts, Columbia, Girls, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Rack, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Time, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Swear, Yesterday One Of Them Spat at Me

Teen girl #1, pointing to mannequin: Look! Those are the boobs we were talking about!
Teen girl #2: I know, those boobs are so obnoxious!

–89th St & Broadway

Posted on April 8, 2022
Girls, Rack, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Words

The Square Of the Hypotitties Is Equal to the Sum Of the Squares Of the Other Two Girls

Girl #1: Wait, how many boobs are usually on three girls?
Girl #2: Six.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: anna

Posted on March 14, 2022
Girls, Questions, Rack, Science, The Village

Poetry in Motion

Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”

–1 Train

Posted on December 22, 2021
Books & Writing, Girls, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Race, Rack

At the Male Fantasy Semifinals

Eastern European girl: Jimmy* is a dirty boy.
Asian girl: Really? Why is Jimmy a dirty boy?
Eastern European girl: He said dirty things to me online.
Asian girl: He said dirty things to you online? Like what?
Eastern European girl: I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Asian girl: Does he make you uncomfortable?
Eastern European girl: Yeah, sometimes he does — like, when he tells me to send him pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Does it make you scared?
Eastern European girl: No, I just don’t have any pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Then why don’t you take some?
Eastern European girl: I don’t know.
Asian girl: You know what? I’ll help you. I’ll go to your house right now and take some pictures of you with your shirt off, and then you can send them to Jimmy, okay?
Eastern European girl: Okay.

–Downtown 6 train

Posted on November 3, 2021
Asians, Bimbettes, Computer, Foreigners, Girls, Internet, Kink, Nudity, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Rack, Talking/Convos

Rack